gbryal: We had a blackout for a few hours in the thunderstorm.
gbryal: So I got some candles and read Lovecraft.
gbryal: It was a good thing.

eleventh: Dakarriel: you must have a defective neural structures
eleventh: (but then you're talking to someone who likes to be tied up and whipped for fun)

gbryal: I like stories about the overwhelming crushing weight of the uncaring universe.
gbryal: Lovecraft delivers.

gbryal: i wonder if it is ok to bugger animals
[1351]: Only if they're consenting adults...

`Max`: "Remember that whining is for
`Max`: pubescent assholes, a beginning magician is like a
`Max`: child striving to be adult.
`Max`: "
`Max`: -M.K.

`Max`: "There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way." - Gotamo Siddartho

*** LT_Mark has joined #thee_vortex
[1351]: Hello there Mark, and who the fuck are you?
LT_Mark: Urza
*** LT_Mark is now known as Urza
Urza: see
[1351]: I see.
Urza: sorry bout that
[1351]: Sorry. I just jump on ever new name I see in order to
propagate the meme of the Traditional Greeting

gbryal: BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA!

*** Topic is 'My people! Let us make pogo sticks out of animal hide
and rocks!'
*** Set by [1351] on Tue Aug 28 00:47:34

[1351]: Not tons. I've been filling my HD with downloaded sites.
Oh, and I'm working on a piece about changed books as a method of
enchantment.
`Max`: Changed books?
`Max`: That reminds me of a spell I thought of and have been
meaning to test... perhaps when my life goes haywire someday...
`Max`: Mine is: Write about the way your life is right now. Then,
in an appropriate setting, cut-up the pages you wrote on and
rearrange the words/sentences to reflect the way you want your life
to be. Add bits, or throw away bits as necessary. When you're done,
it will manifest. Toss in an opening/banishing and a "so mote it be"
or likewise at the end, and you've got a ritual.

`Max`: Reminds me vaguely of BAN CHO CHUGAKAWATHAZ.
[1351]: ?
[1351]: and that is?
Aleister: peanuts in red pepper sauce, i think
* [1351] grins

Dakarriel: I was readin Apikorsus, and hearin' about the titans,
and their gnosis, and their near-reawakening at this time.
Dakarriel: so, I thought, why dont I look into that
Dakarriel: so I got into a nice meditative trance, and started
lookin for the titans.
Dakarriel: then, I realized that the titans pretty much make up the
world, so I'd have to seek them in the world, or someshit.. made
sense to me then. So, I meditated in the meditation, and found
myself nearly face to face with one.
Dakarriel: then I touched the bugger, and that was weird.. it
seemed to be full of power. I figured, why dont I try to sympathize
with it, like invocations, though I wont really invoke it.
Dakarriel: So I touched it again, and I felt it's energy rip
through me. It seemed to peirce through my brain like liquid fire,
and it really hurt. Then, I began to feel parts of myself burning,
like a burning sensation. so I stopped.
Dakarriel: then I broke out of the trance.
Dakarriel: any thots?

teckyong: MAX!!!
teckyong: MAX!!! MAX!!!
teckyong: WE THOUGHT U WERE IN PRISON!!!!!!!!!!
* teckyong slaps `Max` around a bit with a large trout
* teckyong slaps `Max` around a bit with a large trout
* teckyong slaps `Max` around a bit with a large trout
teckyong: HEY MAX!!! ARE U THERE??!!??
[1351]: he's away I think

[Editor's Note: This situation has happened FAAAR too often...]

Sq: :)

Riordan: FUCK!

eleventh: So the box for my new pc card says "lifetime warranty",
so I go to check out the xircom site to see if I can perhaps get more
information on if I can get my broken one refunded. According to the
web site, my lifetime is expected only to be about 30 days...

eleventh: so I gots a busted modem and a working modem. DAMN IT,
and the broken one belongs to Baphomet, too. I hope S/He is cool
about it.

Genix: Man, the problem lately is all of this goetia shit. Too
much concentration on the external, y'know? That's what I was doing.
I fucked myself up pretty bad.
Dakarriel: how so?
Genix: I just fed my mind bullshit, man. Delusions of godhead and
all of that crap. "I will crush thee, mountain, just you wait and
see".
Genix: Fuck, now I'm a basketcase.
Genix: At least I can finally say what I want out of life.
Dakarriel: an apple?
Genix: Fuck discordia. Too much, man, too much.
Genix: I need simplicity.
Dakarriel: I wasnt talking discordia
Dakarriel: I was just saying it because its something simplistic,
that most people like. kinda like 'hot dog'
Genix: Man, I just want somebody to love me. Somebody I can hold
and feel better, you know?
Genix: That's all I want out of life.
Dakarriel: you aint alone
Dakarriel: damn, I want that too.. That, and a Job is the only
thing magick hasnt really been able to get me.
Genix: But see, I have somebody now... but I'm just so paranoid I
can't let myself be happy.
Dakarriel: probably my fault too, because though I enchant, I dont
actually DO
* Dakarriel sighs
Dakarriel: I find thats a problem with a lot of people.
Dakarriel: I think of it, that if something's gonna happen, its
gonna happen anyway, wether I worry about it or not.
Genix: Yeah man, but she's special. I can see it.
Dakarriel: So dont worry about it. You wont screw it up.
Dakarriel: worrying causes hesitation. more often than not,
hesitation causes fuckups
* Genix nods
Genix: Tell me about it.

Dakarriel: maybe a heart attack is what you need. Nothing clears
the head like a brush with death.

RevGraves: Nothing like solving one's problems with chemicals.

Shaedy: ....

[1351]: WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDED YOU?!?!

Shaedy: ....

[1351]: I browse magick sites, the last bastion of truly awful web
design. How could I not be away of techniques to make them actually
remotely legible!?
Aleister: i've even been known to resort to reading the source code.

[1351]: Shaedy, are you trying tell us something?

[1351]: LOL - the guide to Satanic Web Design:
http://www.angelfire.com/ab3/Advisor666/


Shaedy: ......

[1351]: what is it with the ...... already?!!?

Shaedy: ....

[1351]: now what?
[1351]: Shaedy: Try letters. They make it easier to send out your
psychic signals to the rest of us.
Shaedy: ok
Shaedy: NiGga plz
* [1351] raises an eyebrow. Okay, maybe it won't help. g:
* [1351] sighs and twiddles her thumbs
[1351]: Okay, I'm bored. I think I'll bother someone. Shaedy,
you're it. Do I know you?
Shaedy: yes
[1351]: Humour my poor memory. Where/when/how from?
Shaedy: go fish
[1351]: Oh goody. One of THOSE conversations.
`Max`: who the fuck are you?
* [1351] rolls another joint in self-defence
* Shaedy sparks the bong up
[1351]: I don't think he she or it is going to tell us, somehow.
Shaedy: who r u
Dakarriel: I r me.
Shaedy: yiiis
Shaedy: not u dak
Shaedy: 1351
[1351]: We're some bastards who are under the misaprhension that
what we say goes because we're regular channel visitors. Now who the
fuck are you?
Shaedy: but thank u anyway
[1351]: What Shaedy?
Shaedy: i need ur full name, address, and social security number
[1351]: s/misaprhension/misapprehension
[1351]: Junkie Scum, 333 the abyss #1351
[1351]: your turn
Shaedy: what state r u in
[1351]: LOL
Dakarriel: she's a brit, dude
Shaedy: does anyone have pics of pete carroll or phil hine on there
computer?
Dakarriel: uh why?
Shaedy: i wanna see what they look like
[1351]: Phil is tall, scary looking, and had the regulation shaved
head last time I saw him
Shaedy: what nationality
[1351]: What? Phil Hine? He's English.
Shaedy: o
Shaedy: what aboot this carrol character
[1351]: He's also English.
Shaedy: i c
Shaedy: a bunch of wankers.....
[1351]: (how cute - he thinks the world revolves around america)
Shaedy: i have never even left the state i live in
[1351]: I don't know Pope Pete. Phil Hine is a nice guy, personally.
[1351]: How very unfortunate for you.
Shaedy: yes
Shaedy: ....
[1351]: now don't start that again

Shaedy: is there any vampiric books u recommend?
[1351]: None whatsoever. They're all shite.
Shaedy: hmm
[1351]: I presume you mean magick rather than fiction.
[1351]: Kostantinos' piece of crap is rather funny, at least.
Shaedy: well then, is there any organizations such as the order of
the vampyre that u recommend
[1351]: The setian Order of the Vampyre are supposed to be okay,
but I'm put off by their sideline in expensive tablewear.
[1351]: The TOV are also decent enough, but have a rather rip-off
attitude when it comes to their books and fees
Shaedy: tov? got a link?
[1351]: Decent is a comparative term, meaning that not all their
members are idiots, BTW.
[1351]: Yes, hang on
[1351]: http://pw1.netcom.com/~temple/home.html
[1351]: I also have a copy of the first book of their bible
knocking around here somewhere
Shaedy: was it any good
Shaedy: what was in it content wise
[1351]: Not really. Some rituals and some ranting. E-mail me, and
I'll e-mail you a copy when I find it, if you like. My address is
xaronzon@choronzon.com
[1351]: I'd look now, but I'm halfway through lacing up my boots to
go to the shops
Shaedy: thx

`Max`: And what the hell is 1351?
Aleister: it's her needle exchange patient number
`Max`: Is that a british thing to keep the transmission of AIDS
down by supplying junkies with clean needles?
Aleister: they do it in america too
Aleister: yes, disease control


Shaedy: ssup dawG

eleventh: Charles Manson looks like such a nice young man in his
mugshot...

Squinky: lool

* ult contemplates good and evil
eleventh: ult: They're types of cherries.
Dakarriel: I likes the yellow and red cherries.

Sq: Jc and i decided we were gonna go on a short walk instead of
going to the pub
[1351]: and?
Sq: unfortunately, i havent slept for almost 2 days and she hasnt
slept for 4, she thought we were going to the burger king at the end
of my road, and i wasnt paying attention and we ended up walking 12
miles

veleda: hello ...my typing is absolutely shit today

Sq: ah man
Sq: im going to bed
Sq: my eyes are almost bleeding

drgngoat: you are settig up a self full filing prophecy

drgngoat: me - i've been working on contacting aliens

* Scott lurks in the shadows, waiting for a bagel.

gbryal: Everybody sing
Xaronzon: No.

Aleister: a penis, is a warm gunnnnnnnnnnnnn

* Scott feels bloated.

* [1351] wanders off to the kitchen to make herself a mayonnaise and
pepper sandwiche

ult: crap...
[1351]: what?
ult: i want to kill myself right now
[1351]: I wouldn't recommend it. It's generally not the sort of
thing you can regret in the morning. Any particular reason, or just
generalised depression?
ult: my "best friend"
ult: someone whom i love[d] dearly who couldn't give a flying fuck
about me
[1351]: people being assholes is a bad reason to kill yourself. The
world is full of them.
ult: my life is weird...
ult: I spent most of it thinking I was going to be a computer
geek...computers bore me nowadays
ult: It's the people and its the machines...they just...it seems so
pointless
ult: I'm not loved.
ult: That's the fucking problem, ok?
ult: I don't love myself, and no one loves me to make up for it.
ult: I'm co-dependent without anyone to depend on.
Beacon9: why don't you love yourself?
ult: Beacon9: Who knows. Because I don't find myself attractive, as
a friend, or romantically.
Beacon9: okay. so it's a matter of standards?
ult: Beacon9: Because I have no depth except when it comes to
eternal questions, and eternal questions only go so far
ult: Beacon9: Because I spent so much time living one life, only to
open my eyes and find out it was all wasted
Beacon9: and who told you it was wasted?
ult: Because there was a time when it was kewl to be a l33t h4x0r
[1351]: Ult, you're not even 20 yet, right? You've hardly wasted
any time at all. Besides, everything's an experience.
ult: and so thats how i learned to be social
ult: If I were to wait for the phone to ring, it never would.
ult: I feel so goddamned alone and needy and it DISGUSTS me
[1351]: So either learn to value solitude, get some decent friends
and lovers, or get an obsession to fill the void. Those are all
popular approaches.
eleventh: [1351]: for your edification, even when you're less than
20, your entire lifespan is a LONG time. And it doesn't matter when
you see everyone your age living more than you.
ult: 1351: ...
ult: 1351: I don't know
[1351]: eleventh: the point it, you've got a LOT of life ahead of
you, and what happens in it is entirely up to you.
ult: I valued solitude so much
ult: now its worthless
ult: I thought I had decent friends but it turns out that was a lie
ult: And I don't think I can find anything to be obsessed over.
eleventh: [1351]: It isn't what's ahead that bothers. It's the lost
time.
[1351]: eleventh: even at very worst, wasted time teaches you not
to waste time. It's a good idea to learn that lesson early. You don't
want to discover it when you're 60.
ult: i feel like i've spent 20 years working, and ended up getting
paid with monopoly money
eleventh: [1351]: I'm perfectly aware. I'm just saying "you're only
20" isn't comforting.
ult: oh god i can feel it
ult: like floodgates
[1351]: eleventh: THAT wasn't supposed to be comforting. The point
is, there's a whole life ahead, and dwelling on the past achieves
nothing. I'm sorry. Perhaps I'm not in a very sympathetic mood today.
ult: evil...
ult: using people
ult: being a bastard. getting what i want.
ult: i could but my dignity prevents me
ult: its what i held on to
ult: because i thought it had value
eleventh: well fuck, now I'm getting bummed. I'm going to go web
surfing or something...
ult: im just dumping/bitching
[1351]: We'd noticed. g:
ult: i dont want sympathy, just an irc window to type into...
ult: now im gonna try sleeping and consider becoming a sexual
predator.
[1351]: Okay, my general thought on the subject and then I'll stop
boring you with my worthless opinions. Life is to be enjoyed. Find
your passions. Live for the moment. Carpe diem and all that shit.
[1351]: night ult
ult: 1351: Help me find my passions? I can't do it on my own.
[1351]: I can't tell you what your passions are. I suggest trial
and error. Worked for me. Myself, I'm into sensualism and creation.
ult: I just want a tourguide.
ult: bye.
*** ult has quit IRC (Leaving)
eleventh: God damn it, ult
* eleventh kicks ult's signoff message
* [1351] shrugs. If you had any comments for him, I don't doubt that
the subject will rear its ugly head again.
*** [1351] changes topic to 'There are four solutions to any
problem: change, escapism, rationalisation, and death.'


[1351]: I'm not particularly together. I'm extremely fortunate, and
quite good at getting myself out of bad situations. And into them,
for that matter. I have ambitions, but I'm at least currently more
interested in immediate experience of many sorts, and I do things for
my survival when I have to. Not very together, all in all.
[1351]: It certainly doesn't make me immune from the 3 o'clock
horrors, or from "is this what my life has come to". However, I am a
pragmatist. See topic header.

[1351]: It's wierd, come to think of it. I used to be insecure at
one point. Now, I just don't care any more. Funny. shrug:

[1351]: I don't really care about people in general very much, I
suppose. I don't care what they do, as long as it doesn't get in my
way, and I don't care what they think.

[1351]: I like people. I'm good in social situations. I just can't
relate to the vast majority of people enough to give a shit. This
probably isn't a good thing. It can certainly be isolating. Doesn't
really bother me though. It used to, but... shrug:

[1351]: I deal with people in a "this is me, take it or leave it"
kind of way.
[1351]: It works.

eleventh: Well, that's how I would if I could establish any kind of
rapport with them, which is why I AM in fact building a list of
potential convo-starters

[1351]: Might I suggest this one: "Hello. My logic in approaching
you is this: I can't find interesting people if I can't weed my way
through the other ones, so I've come to see if you're interesting or
not."
[1351]: ;)
* eleventh adds it :P

Shaedyz: ....

`Max`: a hammer is a breaking tool. we use it to build.

* [1351] sighs, sits down, and wonders why she seems to be feeling
so very misanthropic today.

Morrtal: ...

Shaedyz: .....

Shaedyz: ....
Morrtal: Say something! :P

eleventh: This permanent marker doesn't wash off fabric, so now I
can sigilize my underwear permanently :)
eleventh: Morrtal: you don't want to know how I annoint the sigils :P

Shaedy: ....

gbryal: boing.

*** Topic is 'And there are two ways to die; one is to be killed,
the other is to lose one's mind.'
*** Set by Genix` on Thu Aug 30 08:17:44

ult: "They also encourage impressionable teenagers to join in chat
rooms to express how miserable they are"
ult: That's US!!!!
ult: Join us, little kiddies
ult: Join us for ANGST HOUR!

ult: ok ya'll suck

`Max`: ...
`Max`: Does it have something to do with spatial relationships
during the act?
[1351]: I am not having this conversation.
`Max`: ...
`Max`: Is that a yes, then?

[1351]: Christ on a pogo stick. The worst that can happen is she'll
accuse you of indeent assault, call the pigs, sully your name
forevermore amongst right-thinking people... what have you got to lose?
[1351]: indecent. I need bed
`Max`: I rather like indeent. I'm not certain, but I think I'd
rather be accused of indeent assault than indecent assault. Say, did
you get a job?
[1351]: Not yet, but I got some money.
`Max`: Excellent.
[1351]: I think so, yes.
`Max`: I shall shed a tear for the eternally damned souls of the
deceased black goats involved...

cidal: fuck

* Aleister threatens to spam the channel with second-rate poetry

*** fand has quit IRC (the sea is scary)

teckyong: that trout fucker...

Dakarriel: wow.. being baited by two fucking idiots.
Dakarriel: life is good.

* zosX really needs to stop the "your mom" stuff

eleventh: Can I ask something of those who evoke?
Sayrelle: what and why do u want to evoke something eleventh?
eleventh: like goetics and angels and crap
eleventh: Sayrelle: I said I want to evoke to see if I can do it.
gbryal: Like to physical form?
eleventh: gbryal: that's very related to one of my questions
eleventh: When the hell do I know I've succeeded? What kind of
result am I supposed to get?
gbryal: I have never seen anything evoked to physical form.
Dakarriel: me neither
eleventh: gbryal: I don't think they can be
gbryal: To invoke or convoke seems more reasonable.
Dakarriel: I'm sure they can
eleventh: I don't expect that much
eleventh: evocation is calling up. Their exterior presence
eleventh: But
Dakarriel: if morrtal can have a tail that's touchable, then I'm
sure demons and such can be evoked to a physical, or quasi physical
form
eleventh: to what degree am I supposed to be able to
sense/hallucinate the spirit?
gbryal: Unless a successful evocation is you convincing yourself
that you made some sort of thing that you can imagine you can sort of
see appear before you
gbryal: In which case, well, it's a function of how well you can
bullshit yourself.
eleventh: gbryal: evocation has jack shit to do with physical
manifestation
eleventh: It's as real as invocation
gbryal: Well, I think that's a given.
gbryal: Yes, in other words, imaginary.
eleventh: Or not
zosX: nothing is real
eleventh: no evidence either way
Beacon9: not even us
gbryal: Ok, I guess I can't PROVE you can't do it.
zosX: all is illusion
zosX: all is maya :)
gbryal: oh, don't say maya.
eleventh: gbryal: people DO evocation! It exists, it happens.
Beacon9: and yet all is the emanation of Ain Soph Aur, focused into
the Tree of Life.
zosX: what's wrong with maya ?
Beacon9: it's cliche, zos.
gbryal: it's one of those Words.
gbryal: maya, karma, paradigm, tantric, and meme
gbryal: i hate all of those stupid words.
eleventh: gbryal: deal with it :P
gbryal: and now perhaps i hate "evocation"
Beacon9: gb: don't forget 'The Matrix is Soooo Gnostic'
gbryal: yes.
gbryal: I shan't forget that.
gbryal: tack on "gnostic"
eleventh: gbryal: So you hate the very language of magick :P
gbryal: Yes.
gbryal: Magick has let me down at every turn.
zosX: well, everything is described in words
zosX: that's like saying that you despise what you are sitting in
be called a chair
gbryal: Yes, you can describe hobbits and gelflings and even
klingons.
Beacon9: gelflings?
eleventh: And?
eleventh: gbryal: what about them?
gbryal: And they aren't very interesting to describe, because YOU
will never see one.
eleventh: I see Klingons
gbryal: You don't.
gbryal: You see actors pretending to be klingons.
eleventh: gbryal: Hm. Reality is very objective for you isn't it?
gbryal: Which is mildly amusing, but entirely different.
gbryal: To the point of pencil-breaking, yes.
gbryal: Exceedingly objective.
eleventh: pity
gbryal: The sadness of it is, I can place myself in the subjective.
gbryal: I can convince myself.
gbryal: But back in square one I see what I have done.
gbryal: The failed magician waves his wand, then takes all the ice
cream so we have none.
Beacon9: gb: what is magick?
gbryal: I asked that question of a six year old girl once.
gbryal: She stared at me for a long time.
gbryal: and then she said "Magick comes from a person inside out."
gbryal: That, then, is my working definition.
Beacon9: sounds about right.
gbryal: More of a description I suppose.
gbryal: Well, I can't figure out what the fuck she meant.
gbryal: But I gave her my magic wand.
Dakarriel: maybe she's a great adept by now.
gbryal: It was pretty cool; three intertwined saplings with
crystals at every braid
gbryal: Probably.
* eleventh grumbles and tears up the sigil...
gbryal: Once I evoked Gabriel.
eleventh: Nobody ever did answer my damn question
gbryal: And a thunderstorm started up the minute I left the dance
club.
gbryal: It rained so hard it almost blew me off a bridge.
gbryal: It was freezinbg, and the wind was amazing, tore off roofs.
gbryal: When I got home, it just stopped.
Beacon9: hrm.
gbryal: I laughed my ass off, but I was scared as hell.
Beacon9: is that a good sign or a bad sign?
gbryal: It's just rain.
gbryal: Maybe it's a sign, maybe it worked.
gbryal: I didn't ASK for rain.
Beacon9: el: what was your question
gbryal: But i was being a cocky little prick.
eleventh: My question was addressed to those who have evoked
eleventh: And I was asking WTF KIND OF RESULT I AM LOOKING FOR
gbryal: I did it through sketches and poems and repetition
Beacon9: gb: I'm guessing that the angels represent primal quantum
forces that we humanize into gods and angels
gbryal: in a dance club. i channeled the energy of the dancers in
synchronization with the pounding bass
gbryal: Well, Gabriel/Water
gbryal: made sense to me anyway
Beacon9: awesome
gbryal: I wasn't looking for something in particular, but that's
what I got.
Beacon9: okay
Beacon9: why, though, do you say that magick let you down
gbryal: I was in the proper mood to take that as an admonishment.
Dakarriel: so, what did good ol' gabe say?
gbryal: Magick has never been what it has been described as in
myths, legends, and fairy tales all the way to the beginning of time.
gbryal: Thousands of generations of assholes bullshitting me.
gbryal: Oh, well, I think he was saying "You should mind your
station, mortal."
Beacon9: gb: well, it's possible that all of that stuff was 1.
metaphorical, and/or 2. done on a plane where it's easy to quickly
manifest 'spectacular' results
Beacon9: which is not to say that spectacular results are
impossible here...
gbryal: or 3. that thousands of generations of assholes are
bullshitting me.
eleventh: Oh fucking hell. Nobody but gabe has ever evoked?
gbryal: hee
gbryal: You can't be a good skeptic unless you desperately want to
be a magician.
Beacon9: eh, I've tried evoking personal godforms a couple times
Beacon9: not much results.
gbryal: Oh
eleventh: Okay. Please say that next time then. Instead of silence.
gbryal: I evoked Enki once too.
Beacon9: I know this is cliche, but it may have been lust of result.
gbryal: And lightning struck like a foot from me moments later.
gbryal: sparks came through my screen door
gbryal: and my entire home lan blew up
Beacon9: you had a surge protector, I hope.
gbryal: all of the network cards had black rings on the reverse side
gbryal: oh no.
eleventh: Oh shit. I'm getting seriously infuriated here. This sucks.
eleventh: hey Sq
Beacon9: g:
gbryal: it came over the cable
gbryal: Why are you infuriated?
eleventh: gbryal: the utter frustration at almost complete lack of
results in about two dozen evocation attempts
Dakarriel: I evoked a few times
Beacon9: el: did you grow up with Dungeons & Dragons too?
eleventh: You'd think I would be getting SOMEWHERE by now
eleventh: Beacon9: nope
gbryal: maybe you are evoking busy entities
eleventh: Dakarriel: PLEASE SHARE
gbryal: Anyway, I'd call thunderstorms and lightning rather
negative attention.
eleventh: gbryal: They're omnipresent.
gbryal: How do you know they are omnipresent if you have never
evoked them?
Dakarriel: the funny thing about evocation, and anything that deals
with some sort of spirit, is that it feels so real when I'm doing it,
but afterwards, could easily be written off as something I just
convinced myself happeened.
eleventh: Because I fucking said so.
gbryal: Well, it's you ATTITUDE then.
gbryal: har.
Dakarriel: because rarely when I do, do I get any lasting physical
evidence I have. I only get a feeling of a presence about.
eleventh: gbryal: piss off when you don't know how magick works for
me
gbryal: Well, you asked for input.
eleventh: Dakarriel: what about communicating with it?
gbryal: I don't know how magick works for any of you pigfuckers.
Dakarriel: I'd hear it in my head
gbryal: But I still like to stop in and chat.
eleventh: gbryal: what I ASKED for was what kind of state I was
trying to go for. That's it.
gbryal: Oh, well, I suppose a state where you think it's working.
Dakarriel: they tend to have interesting voices. like Uriel, his
voice was really rough, while gabe's and raph's were rather light.
Dakarriel: not high, but a sort of calm light voice.
Beacon9: I did hear an interesting thing about angelic evocation,
by hebrew talismans
Beacon9: that the talismans weren't there to control the angels,
but rather to demonstrate the knowledge of the magickian
Dakarriel: of course, I didnt really evoke gabe or raph, I visited
em in heaven.
gbryal: You know, just because Gbryal is standing behind you
doesn't mean he is eyeballing your ass, by the way.
Dakarriel: I'd hope not. I should have a thinner ass
eleventh: gbryal: allopw me to rephrase. When I evoke something,
what the hell am I supposed to be feeling/sensing?
Beacon9: and the angel would then do SOME things for you, out of
respect for your knowledge
KrimHum: 11th: Still no results?
gbryal: Well, when an evokation "works" for me, it makes me feel
pretty freaked out.
Beacon9: so, it's not at all about forcing
gbryal: It makes me feel like maybe I wish it hadn't.
eleventh: Krim: fuck all for results.
KrimHum: -- working on a new php-based vortexpix gallery. looks
like it will be snazzy.
Dakarriel: when I do an evokation, or visit realms, it all seems
like a dream afterwards
KrimHum: gbryal: LOL. I hear you there.
gbryal: I don't know about you, but if the angel that destroyed
Sodom REALLY appeared in front of me, I'd be a bit sheepish.
Dakarriel: its all cloudy in my memory and I cant remember any
details
Beacon9: I wouldn't.
gbryal: "WHAT IS YOUR COMMAND!?!" "Oh, sorry to bother you, um, mr.
angel, but, er... well, i am looking for a job..."
gbryal: *ZAP!(
Beacon9: haha
gbryal: I think anything worth evoking is probably not something
you can just push around and have at your beck and call.
gbryal: And while you might not need the symbols, maybe THEY do.
Dakarriel: that whole angel who destroyed sodom thing is iffy. in
different stories, a different angel did it.
Dakarriel: the whole angel thing is iffy
eleventh: To me, an angel is an aspect of my knowledge/power
wrapped up in its own ego construct.
KrimHum: Oh. Still not using a circle?
gbryal: Oh, well, it's just an example.
KrimHum: eleventh: Then try evoking that, not something from a
grimoire.
eleventh: KrimHum: Still can't. Still pretty much refuse to.
KrimHum: *shrug* As you wish.
eleventh: KrimHum: I'm just using the stuff from the grimoire as
names for those aspects
gbryal: Without a symbolset too, it's hard to tell if you got the
real thing or a stray imposter.
eleventh: "real thing"?
gbryal: The one you called.
Dakarriel: evoke Anachiel and have him get you a life.
KrimHum: My first quasi-successful evocation was of a comic book
character using only mild chemognosis.
eleventh: again, "real thing"?
gbryal: Does Anachiel do that for people?
KrimHum: If I'm going to do something from a grimoire, though, I at
least give lip service to its conventions.
Dakarriel: well, anachiel helps with people skills
gbryal: again, "The one you called"
Dakarriel: and I suppose the thing to getting a life is getting
some people skills
gbryal: as opposed to "whatever came when it heard you were in the
market for some action"
eleventh: gbryal: if it answers to the name of what I called, then
how do I know the difference?
gbryal: symbols, gematria, alphabets
Dakarriel: by spending a whole lot of time with gematria and symbols
Dakarriel: exactly.
Dakarriel: not really my cup o tea.
Dakarriel: but, different paradigms and all
eleventh: And if it pops in using the symbols of the thing you
called?
Dakarriel: what works for some, doesnt work for others.
KrimHum: eleventh: Well, a common convention is testing it with
its name and/or sigil. You can visualize its sigil in the middle of
its forehead and see if it fades or is reinforced.
gbryal: then you should be able to ask it questions to prove it
KrimHum: gematria is nice, too. gemcalc is our friend.
eleventh: KrimHum: like I said, the grimoire is just to provide
names and sigils for the aspects I'm trying to call. I don't consider
them someone else's beings...
gbryal: maybe you don't possess those aspects
KrimHum: eleventh: Dude, what you're "considering" hasn't worked
for you so far, has it? If you're going to use a system that pays
attention to certain rules, why are you surprised when ignoring those
rules gets you no results?
eleventh: I'm not using the fucking system!
KrimHum: Then why are you using the fucking names of the fucking
angels? :P
KrimHum: Pure laziness?
eleventh: Because they're convenient!
KrimHum: LOL
eleventh: yes!
KrimHum: Thought so.
gbryal: Well, if I was an angel, your convenience would be very
appealing to me.
KrimHum: Well, good luck with that. :)
gbryal: Yep, I'd drop whatever it was I was doing.
eleventh: gbryal: fuck you if you won't listen to what I'm saying.
Dakarriel: oh, krim, that sigil thing is a great idea.. I thinks
I'll try it more often
Dakarriel: of some truth test similar to that, if I dont have a
handy dandy sigil
Beacon9: sigil thing?
KrimHum: Dak: I've found it useful. Hope you do, too.
Dakarriel: a lot of entities dont have a known, or on hand sigil.
gbryal: Oh, I hear what you are saying. You are saying that the
names are just symbols, and that what you expect to come forth are
bits of yourself that have no attachment to any system or paradigm.
KrimHum: Beacon: Test the entity by visualizing its sigil in the
middle of its forehead, et al.
Beacon9: aha
Beacon9: yeah, sounds good.
gbryal: And you want to know why they won't come.
eleventh: gbryal: no, I want to know why I can't get them to come
gbryal: Fair enough.
Dakarriel: I could always use my spirit mastery sigil to divine if
they're true or false as well, with a small rite, of course.
gbryal: Why do you expect them to come?
eleventh: The fault is mine, not theirs
gbryal: er
gbryal: expect to be able to get them to come.
Dakarriel: 11, get some booze, and a blood sacrifice. that'll draw
em.
Dakarriel: speaking of booze, my flasks came. they're awesome.
Dakarriel: I'm gonna start packing a 6 oz flask.
Dakarriel: nothing like liquor to make the world go round.
eleventh: gbryal: why wouldn't they? why wouldn't aspects of my
self come when I call them?
gbryal: Maybe they didn't see the point.
Dakarriel: maybe they dont see themselves as aspects of YOUR self,
and as independant autonomous beings.
eleventh: They are ME
gbryal: Maybe they are already sitting right next to you, being you.
eleventh: Dakarriel: I'm not calling the ones that see themselves
that way
Dakarriel: oh
eleventh: gbryal: and by self I do not mean ego.
gbryal: You are in an awkward situation that i think is common
among chaotes.
gbryal: You are calling a system into being by using it, but you
don't know if the system is really there.
gbryal: Since you just invented it, just now.
eleventh: Systems can be made
eleventh: it doesn't have to "Be there"
gbryal: How do you know that?
eleventh: BECAUSE I DID IT
eleventh: And it works everywhere but here
gbryal: AND IT DIDN'T DO A HELL OF A LOT
eleventh: And there's no reason that should happen
eleventh: NONE
KrimHum: then try a different methodology.
KrimHum: Don't be one of those dogmatic chaotes. :P
gbryal: where does it work?
eleventh: KrimHum: I've tried the only methodologies I know
eleventh: gbryal: invocation, general enchantment, yadda yadda blah
fucking blah
KrimHum: eleventh: Now that is total bullshit. We've been giving
you methodologies for a while that have worked for us and you've flat
out ignored them.
eleventh: KrimHum: and I don't see other ways of ding it
gbryal: i'll have you know, too, i am trying to be helpful instead
of just taking the piss, as is my wont.
eleventh: KrimHum: I'll change my methodology on my terms
* gbryal wonders why he is doing that
gbryal: i must have the dropsy
KrimHum: Alright. I'll just continue with the "good luck"
messages, then.
KrimHum: It's not that I'm against your way of thinking. I just
hate to see you ramming your head into a wall.
eleventh: KrimHum: I have tried magick with the props and symbolism
and all that happy horseshit, and it never helped, which is why I
disregard it here
gbryal: In the myths and legends and magic books it only works if
you do the happy horseshit.
gbryal: It probably just makes a better story.
eleventh: And I've seen that's not always true
gbryal: But you never know!
Beacon9: hrm....
* Beacon9 gets out the GoN calc
Beacon9: under GoN, Happy Horseshit = 9
eleventh: gbryal: actually I just said that I tried it and it never
helped. I call that empirically knowing.
gbryal: Well, sure, if you think that in 3 years you are like some
yoda-type adept.
Beacon9: under EQALW, it's 181
Beacon9: under EQA1B2C3, it's 187
gbryal: And can ignore those who came before you and got boiled in
oil for trying these things.
KrimHum: 11th: Did you have a deep understanding of the symbolism
you were using?
eleventh: gbryal: I have enough experience to see what works for me
so far
gbryal: In texas, they have a saying.
eleventh: KrimHum: I believe I did.
gbryal: "Always dance with them what brung ya."
gbryal: I am not sure how that applies, but it certainly sounds
like it is probably wise or something.
eleventh: I didn't at all ignore the experience of those who came
before. I outright found it not to be beneficial.
gbryal: Maybe you are just really bad at evocation.
eleventh: NO SHIT
gbryal: Or maybe you just aren't a loon.
eleventh: What does being a loon have to do with anything?
KrimHum: 11th: I'm just making guesses here. *shrug* I don't
know what went wrong before. I don't know what's going wrong now.
Dakarriel: eleventh, try and ingage in some activity that that
entity would engage in
gbryal: Only loons call ghosts on the phone and then see them.
Dakarriel: then, you'll have some sort of empathic link to it,
maybe calling it'll be easier.
eleventh: Dakarriel: part of my purpose is to discover something
about the personality of the entity. I don't know jack about it ahead
of time.
gbryal: Maybe I will be serious for a moment.
gbryal: Yes, let's try that.
gbryal: If you are attempting to get in touch with an aspect of
yourself, and it is so important that it requires a ritual, perhaps
it is an aspect that isn't ready to just jump out.
Dakarriel: most times, when calling an entity, one looks at what
the entity does, or what it symbolizes
gbryal: Maybe it needs time, understanding, and nurturing.
gbryal: There.
gbryal: Now I will be stupid fresh crazy wack again.
eleventh: I know what its function is. I just don't know what it
does in its daily life
Dakarriel: every chat room needs a stupid fresh crazy wack
Dakarriel: expecially a choate chatroom
gbryal: I know. I am sorry I was late tonight.
gbryal: I hope someone was able to sub for a bit.
Dakarriel: I should practice being the crazy wack.
Dakarriel: I need some expirience for real life.
gbryal: be sure to contradict yourself often if it helps you to
disagree with someone else.
gbryal: I can't stress that enough.

Squink: i really have lost track of how long i've been awake
Squink: all i know is that im on Part 4 of day 2
Squink: and each part == 12 hours

*** Dakarriel changes topic to '"If God made man beautiful, what the
hell happened to you?"'

Setzer_: Hey, stop talking a bit!

teckyong: so have u infiltrated the Shadow Government like I told u
to?
KrimHum: heh. No, not yet. That might require a couple more
months before the locals really trust me. ;)
teckyong: it helps if you are willing to use your charms and sleep
your way to the top. that's what I did. ;p

teckyong: the really important issue here is...Is he cute?

teckyong: oh btw Krim, wanna meet up next year? We can do Kung Fu
stuff together then.
teckyong: I am getting better
teckyong: so maybe we can do a Mortal Kombat thing
Setzer_: o_O
teckyong: I wanna be the bad guy btw
Setzer_: They call ME weird.

*** teckyong changes topic to 'The most important thing you will
ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. -- Moulin Rouge'

teckyong: so do u want to be the good guy or bad guy in Mortal
Kombat Zee Cluster Special Edition?

Setzer_: Can I have a move where I CONVINCE the opponent to stand
still?

teckyong: yes.

Dakarriel: damn you teck, DAAAAMN YOOOOU!

*** Topic is 'Bwick bwick bwick bwick bwick bwick. © 2001'
*** Set by [1351] on Sat Sep 01 11:49:45

Aleister: well, i was driving cross country at night in 1983
* Beacon9 listens
Aleister: and i heard an inner voice tell me that i was about to
receive an important communication
Aleister: less than a minute later, i came across one sign that
said 'crowley' right over one that said "1111"
Aleister: a number that in my personal symbolism, i associate with
tetragrammaton
Aleister: i interpreted this to mean that crowley had achieved his
goal of becoming a god.

Beacon9: yo
Riordan: what's up?
Aleister: any vector directed away from local center of gravity

gbryal: Most highly intelligent super villains come from England,
Belgium, and Switzerland.

fand: like red slugs on a skull

fand: they are narrow but wormlike, rather than sluglike

* Aleister is watching 'fight club' for the first time

ult: considering becoming closer to godhood tonight
ult: watching final fantasy movie :)

ult: my mom is renting my room out so i am moving out...
[1351]: Wow. Way to drop a hint.

* [1351] doesn't know what a phantom is in this context, but gets
the general picture
ult: you haven't seen the movie?
[1351]: nope
ult: They are basically ghosts that suck souls :)
[1351]: right
eleventh: like republicans
ult: bingo
[1351]: LOL

Aleister: ult: summoning a Phantom to suck your soul out of your
body, and then release it (or posess the phantom?)
Aleister: the first part of that process is called marriage.

Aleister: i've been married 23 years, but the soulsucking didn't
begin in earnest until about 15 years ago.

*** Riordan changes topic to 'DEATH BEFORE MARRIAGE'

ult: i will get married if i meet the right person
ult: i dont want to get married just because i fear being alone
though
Riordan: to each their own
ult: i feel like there is another part of me that is missing
Riordan: that someone else can fill?
ult: well
ult: kind of like an unbalance
ult: like....if a bridge was broken in the middle
ult: but it was still capable of standing
ult: just not as strong, and of course, nothing could cross it
ult: i'm not sure if thats me or a soulmate that will fill that gap

Aleister: there is no virtue i can think of in christianity that is
not at least equalled in buddhism, and with much better pedagogical
technique
Aleister: no, i take that back.
Aleister: buddhists do have a vice of being too tolerant.

eleventh: Theres a big thing that annoyse me about christianity.
They emphasise sin more than virtue, and state what you should not do
far more often that they state what you should.
eleventh: It reaks of negativity

eleventh: Milosh's essay "Is Christianity a Morally Worthy
Religion" covers it fairly well.

Aleister: there are a couple of my sunday school teachers i
wouldn't mind horsewhipping.

Aleister: personally, i think yelling at three year olds that GOD
IS EVERYWHERE WATCHING YOU and, YOU MUST FEAR HIM! is child abuse.

Derwin: God watches you piss!

eleventh: I like the Zoroastrians more than Christians at least,
because to them, faith means jack shit, and what you do is what
matters.

eleventh: If I ever had a child, I'd teach them one thing their
whole childhood. "Question everything. Question me, question your
teachers, question the government, the media...."

ult: I think I might actually be a good person

* Aleister thinks good and evil are projections of biological
functions

* Derwin isnt good or evil. He just is.

ult: helping people is innate to our survival instinct
ult: if you can't preserve yourself, preserve what you find
valuable, if you can't preserve that, preserve what you can get your
hands on.
eleventh: it's all situational.
Aleister: i think there is something in the primal shock of an
animal being in an environment where preadarors are present, induces
a dualism in consciousness
ult: go beyond predators and think of death

Derwin: Become God.

Aleister: why does man have a capacity for religious experiences? i
have a theory.
eleventh: I've heard it's a brain re-wiring thing
ult: Ale: Why do 85% of enlightened people have a history of drug
abuse?
Aleister: i think that religious experiences, and the brain systems
that support them, are part of a general behavioural maintenance and
generation mechanism that serves the specias as a whole
ult: Religious experiences are simply redirections of sexual
pathways to sensual pathways
ult: If you can't get an orgasm physically, do it mentally
ult: Also do not forget the pain thing -- its true that if you
crush desire you crush pain
* Derwin gives his ego an orgasm
ult: but i don't believe thats as direct as it sounds
Aleister: ult, religious experiences significantly alter behaviour
and ideologies
ult: crush desire and you crush hope, crush hope and you crush
expectations, crush expectations and you crush pain
Aleister: behavior and ideologies can influence genetic outcomes
eleventh: ult: I can have a mental orgasm from music, but it's not
a religious experience.
Aleister: i'm suggesting a feedback loop exists
ult: Ale: Most of the religious people I know do it mindlessly as
an obsession, without which they would simply have too much
unbearable Free Time.
Aleister: between genes and the capacity for religious experiences
Aleister: religion is a biologically efficient way for a species to
introduce not only new behaviors, but whole new suites of behaviors
Aleister: look how much of religious lit deals in altering behavior
Aleister: imagine if you will, that it's 5000 bc and you hear a
voice, identifying itself as god, and telling you not to eat pork.
Aleister: you tell all your cousins this happened to you
ult: Ale: I'd club the asshole hiding behind the rock.
Aleister: and you convince them all not to eat pork.
Aleister: presuming that eating pork has a negative survivial value
given the sanitation of the time
eleventh: And they all live because they don't get trichinosis!
Aleister: this would tend to magnify the genes of your kinship group
Aleister: including the gene that let you 'see god'
Beacon9: Ale: I read in a jewish book that some of those laws where
there more or less to test whether the Israelites would trust
unquestioningly
ult: Ale: Most of Judaism is scientifically explainable
ult: Ale: I did some research into that
Beacon9: i.e. 'I could tell you why I don't want you to do this but
I'm in love with my own power and I like to see you people squirm so
nuts to you!"
ult: Ale: Very few Jewish laws have no scientific basis...even
their crazy menstration shit
Aleister: it seems to me reasonable that a STRONG sociobilogical
basis to religion exists.
ult: Ale: Lets not forget burying corpses
Derwin: Storm Gods kick ass.
Aleister: burning is probably healthier.

Aleister: where they get multi busloads of koreans, i dunno. my
guess is the mall.

Aleister: learn to do your own tattoos!

Genix: So, like, what have the police done to earn the wrath of the
cluster?
Setzer_: Well...
Setzer_: Like a great philosopher once said
Setzer_: It's their fault for being there!

Setzer_: Their "Look-at-me-I'm-so-strong" way of acting pisses me off
Genix: Setzer: Well, if they had a "don't look at me, please, I'll
cry" look, how many people would be afraid of being arrested?

* Setzer_ sucks on Dak's forehead.

Genix: Fuck alcohol.
Setzer_: O_O
Setzer_: Whaaaat?
Genix: Like prozac, Setzer.

Genix: More like; boy, I've just been stabbed. Heh, cool. Why'd
the guy stab me? Maybe I should give him a hug.


Genix: Derwin: That's the last straw, young man. Call me a chaote
again and I'll spank your bottom.
[Editor's Note: It's comments like these which can oftentimes be used to identify chaotes.]

Genix: I'm not anything.

Dakarriel: are social movements anything like bowel movements?

Setzer_: what is bowel?

Dakarriel: a bowel movement is when one takes a shit., or rather
leaves a shit.

Genix: You could have told him a bowel movement was similar to a
Freudian view on psychology.

Dakarriel: yes, and this is the shit that happens after one eats a
diet of corn and spinach
* Dakarriel holds up a greenish, yellow speckled lump.

* Dakarriel flings the stool at Setzer_
Setzer_: What's "fling the stool"?
Setzer_: I'm not THAT good at english.
Genix: He threw a chair at you. The same one he held up earlier.
Riordan: stool= a medical term for individual pieces of shit.
Setzer_: ...
* Setzer_ dodges
* Genix laughs
Genix: You can't ask what it is and THEN dodge.
Riordan: LOL Gen
Setzer_: I learned how to dodge.
Dakarriel: that's gotta be some of the slowest reflexes I've seen
Setzer_: Ironically, if it was on RL, I'd dodge :P
* Genix thinks of high-fiving Dak, then decides not to

Dakarriel: hehehe.. this is funny "Ninja Burger"
Dakarriel: "Guaranteed delivery in 30 minutes or less, or we commit
seppuku."
Dakarriel: No, there is no other soft drink selection. Cola is good
enough for Ninja, and thus is probably too good for you. You will drink
Dakarriel: cola or you will DIE!!
Dakarriel: that was on the menu.
Setzer_: :)
Setzer_: We don't get a lot of joke menus here...
Setzer_: That is what makes my country a third-world one. :P
Dakarriel: well the whole Ninja Burger thing is a joke
Dakarriel: Http://www.ninjaburger.com/
Setzer_: o_o

Dakarriel: that and i'm always worried that a good percentage of
the girls here are guys

Setzer_: Teck, what are you?

Setzer_: Hey, can you get me YMCA lyrics?
Setzer_: I want to create a song :P

ChORONZON: jeeeezuz fuck!
ChORONZON: Electra posted *those* pics to Krims site??

*** J-DoeZzzz changes topic to 'We (that is, plural of I, I being
included in we, or it would be "them") now (at this time) fuck (have
intercourse with) the police (pigs) for fun (pleasure)'

*** Topic is 'If we were millionaires, we'd still be IRC addicts:
i'd have a 40 foot screen for idling'
*** Set by Squink on Mon Sep 03 15:12:04

`Max`: no i'm not ignoring you because i'm insane -- i'm ignoring
you because i got distracted by a shiny thing
*** [1351] changes topic to '"Mental illness or narcotic addiction?"
"Now that's a tough choice..." - Reverend Jim, Taxi'

[1351]: if I give you some candy, will you stop singing blur at me?

`Max`: Hello, Clarice.
[1351]: my aren't WE all a bunch of pop culture replicants tonight
`Max`: Just do it.
[1351]: Heh. Junkie's motto.
`Max`: Pervert. Satanist. Junkie.
[1351]: Do you think I ought to tradmark that?
[1351]: I'm thinking of trademarking it, too, for that matter.
* [1351] grins

Shaedyz: ....

gbryal: I am that I am and that's all what I am! I'm Eheieh the
sailor man!

*** Topic is 'Satan fell from heaven for YOU.'
*** Set by Shaedy on Tue Sep 04 00:54:42

[1351]: Interesting re: your dreams. What other sensory stuff do
you get? I usually get full senses, which a few people have mentioned
is a little unusual.
blue`lady: good point... thanks, 1351
blue`lady: it's not usual for people to dream in color.. i don't
remember getting smell/taste... i get some hearing, but, since i'm
deaf -- when I have my hearing aid off, my imagination makes up sound
effects for the things i see, the lips i read, the things that fall
and go BOOM, and that's the kind of hearing i get in the dreams.
[1351]: Sounds like you've got a pretty vivid dream-life, whatever
colours its in. ;)
blue`lady: but from what i've heard, it's really rare to get color
dreams, much less full senses
blue`lady: I usually like my dreams... good entertainment. Just,
my nightmares, which are often, scare the shit out of me.
* [1351] is very into her dreams. They've always been important to
me, increasingly so over the past couple of years. I rather enjoy
nightmares in a perverse sort of way. They're horrible (NASTY more
than terrifying usually), but, I dunno... I place a certain unique
value on them too.
blue`lady: once in a while I get deja vu from my dreams...
sometimes it provides guidance but sometimes I have convenient
amnesia of the dream until the event is over and done with
blue`lady: so sometimes I can use it to fuck with my fate, but
sometimes it won't let me fuck with it.
blue`lady: as for nightmares... I have a lot of disturbing dreams,
but I don't call it a nightmare unless it wakes me up or someone
wakes me up. Otherwise I'd have one almost every night :)
[1351]: I very occasionally get precognitive stuff. More frequently
I get commentaries and answers and such, from various sources. But
I'm quite into them as a recreational activity too.
blue`lady: if they're nasty more than terrifying, do you call them
nightmares?
blue`lady: sometimes I get story lines in my dreams... I still have
a story that I need to finish from my last one.
[1351]: there's not much else to describe them as - they're truly
unpleasant experiences, so nightmares seems as appropriate term as
any. They're not situations I'd like to be in voluntarily.
blue`lady: Hmmmm... 'nasty' anything like this recurring dream I
get of being in a room slowly filling with vomit?
[1351]: When I was younger I used to get quite a lot of sleep
paralysis stuff which scared the fuck out of me, but I learned to
utilize it and understand it's various possiblities, so now it
doesn't scare me. Still leaves me pretty awe-struck.
[1351]: Nasty is like friends dying, getting busted by the police,
seeing horrible things happening to animals I like, and so on.
blue`lady: hmmmm... that would be categorized as a nightmare.
[1351]: I reckon. They don't scare me though. They're just NASTY.
Very little scares me in dreams these days, probably because I've got
much better control over them than I did as a child. And I can enjoy
them in a wierd way. Sort of like a personalized horror movie.
blue`lady: hmmmm... I have no control over dreams wahtsoever.
[1351]: I've got good control, under most circumstances. Almost
always of myself, usually of my dreamscape.

`Max`: doesn't have anything to do with the Elder Gods, does it?
[1351]: No Max, but it does involve some passing references to the
Great Old Ones.
`Max`: shit, i always get those confused outside the context of the
simonomicon
`Max`: i need to read the call of cthulhu again
[1351]: actually, it's entirely August Derleth's fault that there's
a difference
`Max`: who the heck is that?
* `Max` sits patiently and relaxes for the story.
[1351]: Derleth is almost completely responsible for the
duotheistic element between the Elder Gods and the GOOs, mostly
introducing them in his posthumous collaborations with Lovecraft (ie
based on his commonplace book), cont:
[1351]: Lovecraft didn't really do forces of good. Everything's
nasty, mostly because they think humanity is totally insignificant or
don't notice it at all.
[1351]: Nyarlathotep notwithstanding
[1351]: Cthulhu is the high priest of the Great Old Ones
`Max`: alright
`Max`: so the goos came before the eggs?
`Max`: i know there's a chicken joke in there somewhere...
[1351]: yes, although the term "elder gods" was, IIRC, used to
refer to the GOOs (at least in passing or in Lovecraft's letters)
before Derleth purloined the term.
`Max`: okay
`Max`: that sorta clears it up
[1351]: All this said, we have Derleth to thank for the fact that
Lovecraft's work is in print now. He founded Arkham House.
[1351]: Convoluted, isn't it? You should read "The Starry Wisdom",
put out by Creation Books.

`Max`: question...
`Max`: kerouac
`Max`: ever read much of his stuff?
[1351]: yes?
[1351]: I've only read On the Road
`Max`: oh
`Max`: i'm nearly done with it
`Max`: i loved it
`Max`: but i wanted to ask for suggestions regarding other kerouac
books
`Max`: and i've been considering purchasing 'walden'
[1351]: argh... hang on, let me think - I have one on my to-read list
[1351]: I found On the Road interesting as a cultural artefact, but
I wasn't too impressed by his writing.
`Max`: i really love it because it is exactly what i'd been
discovering just prior to reading it
`Max`: i've been doing so much travelling lately, and really
drinking up life
`Max`: it's been a hell of a ride
[1351]: Despite the description of stuff that happened to him, he
often seemed a little distant from it, which I found off-putting too,
particularly as compared to Burroughs' Junky, which covers the same
time period; also a great cultural artifact. OTR really captures the
zeitgeist though.
[1351]: ah, yeah - Kerouac reccomendation - apparently, "The Town
and the Country" is very good
`Max`: okay, so "The Town and the Country"
`Max`: any Burroughs reccomendations, while you're at it?
[1351]: aye. It's an oft recommended one.
[1351]: Junky, Queer, and the Yage Letters provide a lot of
enlightening background on his later work. Cities of the Red night is
WONDERFUL, and I really like the entire Red Night series cont:
[1351]: Naked Lunch is great, but I prefer Junky and Cities. I
haven't read the cut-up series (the soft machine, the nova express,
the ticket that exploded) yes, but I'm about to, as they've just be
re-released in this country.
[1351]: The Red Night series are very magickally useful, in various
ways, I've found.
`Max`: really?
`Max`: care to elaborate?
[1351]: I'm not sure I can. They involve a Burroughs' views on
magic, a few very elaborately described rituals, and so on. And
Cities starts with one of the coolest invocations I've run across -
hang on, let me get you the URL to an article on Phil Hine's site
which includes the text of it.
`Max`: hrmm
`Max`: i didn't know he was a major occultist
[1351]: yes
`Max`: i thought he was just an intellectual psychonaut, but
apparently i will have to do my research on burroughs
[1351]: he was actually in the IOT prior to his death
`Max`: well i'll be!
[1351]: some of his magickal ideas were WAY ahead of his time. and
ours, I suspect
[1351]: I seem to recall that Infek knew him in some way.
`Max`: infeks claims are known to often be dubious at best
`Max`: although he often does deliver
[1351]: oh, yeah - Word Virus: A William Burroughs Reader includes
some otherwise unpublished stuff, a lot of excepts, and some great
biographical detail.
`Max`: so i wouldn't know what to beLIEve
[1351]: This may interest you:
http://www.phhine.ndirect.co.uk/archives/ess_opov.htm
[1351]: Max: you'll find quite a lot of magickal stuff build up
from Burroughs' methods on a5e - you could try a search on his name.
[1351]: Ah. The Invocation I was looking for is here:
http://www.phhine.ndirect.co.uk/archives/rit_inferno.htm
[1351]: Looking into Burroughs' stuff is well worth the time
invested, IMO.
[1351]: Everything he's written seems to build on earlier concepts,
so there's a lot of benefit in reading as much as you can lay hands on.
`Max`: i nearly picked up some of his collected essays a few days
ago, but i wisely decided to save the money for a girl instead

SilntBob: ....

SilntBob: ....

SilntBob: .....

SilntBob: ....

*** [1351] changes topic to 'Money can't buy you happiness but it
can get you really fucked up where you're miserable. - Wulf'

`Max`: general public announcement: i love you

`Max`: kat, i appreciate your wit in particular
[1351]: me?
`Max`: indeed
[1351]: really? gods, why?
`Max`: because you are intelligent, witty, fucked-up in all the
right ways
[1351]: LOL
[1351]: thank you
`Max`: and just generally the Penultimate Woman
* [1351] ROTFLs
`Max`: and if you were maybe half your age I'd be rushing off to
Wales with a boner in my trousers, but alas, you're just a wee tad
older than me
[1351]: you don't KNOW that... :-p
`Max`: heh, you're right
`Max`: there's rumors that you're all sorts of ages
[1351]: Yep. And don't think I don't love it. ;)
`Max`: but i meant to simply thank you for your witty conversations
and for putting up with my bullshit here tirelessly, only insulting
me occasionally. ;-P
[1351]: LOL
[1351]: well, you're welcome

*** SilntBob has joined #thee_vortex
Urza: where's Jay?
* SilntBob nods
[1351]: I was wondering that myself.
SilntBob: ....
* SilntBob prances around the room
* SilntBob makes signs that signify jay, and then draws a bong
[1351]: ah
* SilntBob cries as if he wasnt invited
* [1351] hands Silent Bob a hit to make up for it.
* SilntBob raises his hand in the air as if to smak jay next time he
sees him
* SilntBob hits that shit like theres no tomorrow
[1351]: good lad

[1351]: --- working on getting obsecenely fucked up. Please excuse
irrelevancy.

`Max`: Veronica Guzzardi wrote:
`Max`: wow, max. that was deep. So very very deep. I think
`Max`: my head is going to explode from the pressure created
`Max`: by the deepness of that little parable.
`Max`: -ronnie
`Max`: Go to hell you flaming bitch.
`Max`: -Max
`Max`: Aw shit... I love it when these curses are retroactive.

`Max`: bitch wants to insult me out of the blue when i do nothing
but try to have a discussion in a public forum, bitch gonna get flamed

Aleister: i just found something interesting, there HAS been some
work done correlating brain activity and psi
* ult hmms
Aleister: Event-related brain potentials (ERPs) were recorded from
22 subjects performing a forced-choice
Aleister: guessing task which was part of a larger study of
gambling behavior. On each trial, ERPs were
Aleister: elicited by 4 sequentially presented graphic images.
After the last stimulus was delivered,
Aleister: subjects guessed which of the 4 images would later be
randomly selected as the target for that
Aleister: trial. On the basis of 2 previous studies, we
hypothesized that, first, the Late Negative Slow Wave
Aleister: (L-NSW; 400-500 ms poststimulus) and, second, the Early
Negative Slow Wave (E-NSW; 150-400
Aleister: ms) would both have greater negative-guing amplitude over
5 prespecified scalp sites for targets
Aleister: than for nontargets on "nonwager" trials. The test of the
first hypothesis fell just short of
Aleister: significance (p = .085, one-tailed); the second
hypothesis was strongly confirmed (p = .007,
Aleister: one-tailed). The results were interpreted as evidence of
unconscious or preconscious psi. That is,
Aleister: although conscious target discrimination did not occur,
as indicated by nonsignificant, marginally
Aleister: below-chance guessing accuracy, differential brain
responses to target and nontarget stimuli
Aleister: indicated that psi information was detected by the
subjects. Importantly, these results represent a
Aleister: replication and confirmation, with a group of subjects
unselected for psi, of our earlier findings
Aleister: from a single selected subject.

eleventh: I am a furry clown.

gbryal: Drink Box Enema would make a pretty good band name.

zosX: Jesus says "Anal sex is fun for the whole family!"

`Max`: Lesbian anal sex. Mmm-mmm good.

*** `Max` changes topic to 'The Ritual Symbolism of the Testicles of
Swine and their Use in Modern Occultism'

zosX: that was probably the responsible thing to do
[1351]: And I really detest being responsible.

[1351]: Very worthy. Most of my musical efforts involve either
making a bloody racket or making some pretty things in a language
only I probably understand. g:

zosX: yeah...its going to be mostly ritual music with a few
recorded rituals on the album all pretty much dark ambience...but the
one track is going to bust out into some noise after I invoke the HGA

zosX: a few nights ago I chased happy all the way down to the river
and back...I must have chased that dog for an hour at least before I
could finally catch him....he would just let me get within 10 feet of
him and then run off 2 blocks away and I would have to find him
again....bastard

[1351]: dope's nice, but perhaps unfortunately, its primary use is
in keeping me fuctional. At least it's cheap. g:

[1351]: I'm really impressed with Portugal.
[1351]: They recently decriminalised EVERYTHING.
zosX: even canada is much more liberal these days
zosX: I've heard portugal is really cheap and absolutely beautiful
zosX: a lot of americans have retired there for very little money
[1351]: this country just disavoed the efficiency of a US style war-
on-drugs. Our "drug czar"'s term ended. We aren't getting another one.
zosX: I don't know if I could ever learn portugese though
[1351]: they also have a great metal scene in portugal

Xaronzon: ...

Xaronzon: goth these days isn't goth

Xaronzon: for that matter, goth those days wasn't goth

zosX: I need to do something constructive today

*** Topic is 'The Ritual Symbolism of the Testicles of Swine and
their Use in Modern Occultism'
*** Set by `Max` on Sat Sep 08 00:32:55

fand: I saw an old man in the library yesterday.. he was really
bedraggled wearing a scarlet woman's mac from the 70s , he had long
hair and a horrrrrrrrrrrible cough and spluttered everywhere.. he
cleared the library, jsut about
fand: I bet it was Gandalf

blue_rat: bye folks, and remember: drugs are good for you

*** Topic is 'I got better things to do like blowing bartenders'
*** Set by teckyong on Mon Sep 10 08:51:20

Aleister: time online is never wasted, if you want to be here.

MoonWych: i hate tv
MoonWych: its a waste of time in this country
ult: yeah but time wasting is nice
Aleister: yes, i have movie channels! i can watch beautiful over-
surgeried women badly simulating sex!
ult: i like cartoons

[1351]: I just wish one of the channels I got had He-Man and She-Ra
and Thundercats and Dungeons and Dragons and stuff. I need to update
my subscription package.

[1351]: I'm still wondering if the mushrooms that grow in my
bathroom are hallucinogenic

[1351]: cheese? that's a new one of me. Cat piss is traditional,
for some reason. g:

[1351]: explosive generally isn't a good thing g:

Incubus-: Next weekend I'm going to a meeting with previously
unknown people interested in magic, satanism and suchlike. Maybe one
of them is a pretty single girl ;-p
[1351]: hehe
Aleister: or your next stalker.
Incubus-: Well, I'd love to have a stalker :)=
Incubus-: As long as she's not a total monster :-P
[1351]: and he assumes it'll be a "she"... how sweet

Incubus-: Oh well, I _have_ been entertaining a thought of what it
would feel to have a hairy monster of a middle-aged fag to ravish my
arse...

Incubus-: Hey, it's the xaronzon chick from Wales...
[1351]: how nice of you to notice
Incubus-: oops, my apologies for the small initial letter in your
name
[1351]: i'll live

Incubus-: But it's not easy to start listening if you have a
lifetime habit of not listening.

cidal: meditate. mantra. it all works out

Incubus-: You can distinguish a thought in its pure form, and then
observe your mind by habit saying the thought aloud after it has
already been formed. A total waste of energy.

Incubus-: I think Tai Chi would be great for hard cases such as me
or Wulf. Movement meditation sounds very good as compared to sitting
and meditating. With movement you have something demanding to
concentrate on. A mantra is too easy to just give up.
[1351]: He was quite into Yoga at one point, as I recall. It's
apparently very speed-freak friendly. g:

* triskele rapes the willing.

Incubus-: Money.. eh... Now, that's the everlasting curse word...

[1351]: you know, we need to set up a really successful business.
Then we'll all be, like, rich.
NpK: whatever would we sell?
[1351]: um... magick beans?
triskele: yeah!
triskele: 'cause people will buy those, kat..
triskele: WAIT...
triskele: we've got kat..
triskele: We'll REALLY make mgick beans
triskele: few drops of mdma, a few of lsd..
[1351]: Wulf says we should try planting a magick bean instead.
triskele: MAGICK BEANS!
[1351]: I'd buy 'em
[1351]: International drug cartel, anyone?
NpK: if NpK did drugs, he would buy them too!
*** [1351] changes topic to 'Definitely not the home of a top secret
international drug cartel.'
* Incubus- is in with anything concerning sex or drugs.
Incubus-: Hm. Maybe a line of business which would combine both sex
and drugs...
Incubus-: Now I'll be damned if I can figure out one.
[1351]: a brothel with a drug-ordering room service?
Incubus-: That sounds nice :)
Aleister: or a brothel with unconsious hookers.
triskele: I know... we can sell invisible things!
Xaronzon: actually, what we should do is go around the countryside
in a van solving mysteries. I mean, have you ever seen Shaggy
complaining about not having enough money for his habit?
triskele: Like, do up a cardboard box, and label it, 'invisible
inflatable women'
triskele: and sell them to perverts.
triskele: I'm with Xar. LEts all pitch in and buy a van.
Aleister: i always thought they were selling acid out of the
mystery machine
Xaronzon: we could go around festivals and do that too
Aleister: and they used scooby to test it. that's why he was always
seening ghosts
Incubus-: An LSD-machine. Mmm.
Xaronzon: Wulf says that the Mystery in the mystery machine is that
it's a mystery how come they never got busted
Xaronzon: well, we've obviously exhausted this avenue of conversation

Xaronzon: LOL - check this out:
http://www5.nrk.no/seethru/life/galleries/drugs.htm

* Xaronzon hangs a sign on Trisk's neck reading "Hello! I'm
Triskele! I'm very approachable and everyone wuvs me TONS!" and grins
* Xaronzon is now waiting to get hit with a fish
Dakarriel: mustnt keep her waiting
* Dakarriel slaps Xaronzon around a bit with a large trout
Dakarriel: happy?

* ult growls
* Dakarriel growls back
* Dakarriel barks
* Dakarriel pants
* Dakarriel sniffs crotches.

* XaosMonkY points at silent bob
XaosMonkY: you are here too?!
* SlntBob nods
SlntBob: ....
`Max`: He's the most talkative one here.
* SlntBob nods again
XaosMonkY: I just popped in to see if anything was going on....
* SlntBob shakes his head "yes"
* SlntBob blows some smoke out of his mouth
* `Max` blows some smoke up your ass
SlntBob: ..!
* SlntBob jumps up
* SlntBob looks at max shocked
SlntBob: ....
`Max`: Weed enema. Is it good?
SlntBob: ..?
* SlntBob giggles
*** SlntBob is now known as Shaedy

*** Topic is 'Special offer: WTC! No longer in use. Some assembly
might be needed. If you buy both you get two airliners for free, and
it's cutting me own throat'
*** Set by FraDotCom on Tue Sep 11 10:44:46

*** `Max` changes topic to 'It was the year they finally
immanentized the eschaton...'

[1351]: I'm just struck by the power of the event really. It's awe-
inspiring. Quite beautiful.

[1355]: security is an illusion
[1355]: saftey is an illusion
[1355]: control is an illusion

[1351]: Hello. We're all sitting here saying not much.
Mycel: Well then. I'll be sure to contribute next to nothing.

`Max`: Hurrah!
`Max`: How do I get into a girl's pants?
[1351]: taking off her trousers first helps
`Max`: Understood.
`Max`: What if she's reluctant?
`Max`: (And I have no chloroform?)
[1351]: bribe her with drugs and candy
Mycel: Get some chloroform?
Dakarriel: hmmm... I suppose you should have a similar waist size
`Max`: I love how you can never get a straight answer out of anyone
around here.
[1351]: we aim to please
[1351]: actually, no...
[1351]: we aim to confuse
Dakarriel: well, if you have a similar waist size, and the right
hips, I think getting into a girl's pants should be easy. but the
question though, is why would you want to?
[1351]: but it comes to much the same thing in the end
Dakarriel: I mean sure, girls often have nicer clothes than guys
Dakarriel: but its, well, girly.
`Max`: That's okay.
[1351]: I believe that's the appeal, Dak.
`Max`: I think I can manage on my own given some time.
Dakarriel: I suppose so
[1351]: given up on the hope of getting any useful information out
of us?
`Max`: Essentially, yes.
[1351]: ah, grasshopper, you show little perseverence and much
impatience...
`Max`: REally?
[1351]: yes. take my word for it. you know me. honest as the day is
long, guv'nor.
`Max`: I was going with the "It's okay... we'll do it when you're
ready for it." You little cocktease. "No rush." It'd hurt too much
with these blueballs anyway. "I can be happy without sex." Or with
another woman. - approach.
[1351]: what's the essential problem you're having getting into the
pants of the object of your lust, anyway?
`Max`: I dunno.
`Max`: She was ready and willing last week, but the other night it
was suddenly like she was nervous or else just didn't want to for
some reason.
[1351]: this is your gf, I take it?
`Max`: She has medical anxiety problems, it might be worth
mentioning, and said she was self-conscious about her cunt, but I'm
not certain weather or not that's the whole truth.
[1351]: has she maybe recently stopped using a contraceptive pill
or some such? or got a case of thrush? there can be any number of
really daft reasons for absenance
`Max`: Yeah, the one with the amazing breasts.
`Max`: Erm... well I know that she's off the pill now.
`Max`: Not sure how recently.
`Max`: I don't give a fuck; I've got condoms.
[1351]: If she's been previously happy about sex, then I'd be
inclined to go with the options of either contraceptive nervousness
or a yeast infection.
[1351]: stupid question: she isn't one of these folks who goes off
sex when they're on their period, is she?
`Max`: Nah... she let me eat her out for a bit, but ... she seemed
really uncomfortable this time.
`Max`: Like she really wasn't into the whole thing this time.
`Max`: I'm the finest man she'll ever have a shot with and she's
blowing it. *puzzled look*
[1351]: well look, if she's been happy with it before, I'd say talk
it over, create a relaxing environment and so on
[1351]: LOL
`Max`: Well we've never fucked.
* [1351] rotfls
`Max`: In fact, I'm amazingly virgin for someone who's as
incredibly sex-a-licious as myself.
* [1351] gives a final giggle and stops laughing. ahem:
`Max`: I think alcohol might be a factor.
[1351]: LOL
[1351]: stop it
[1351]: I'll wake the neighbours if you keep up the humour...
`Max`: Oh you'd want me too if you ever saw me in person.
[1351]: you mean she's more receptive when drunk?
[1351]: hardly unusual
`Max`: I'm a sex-god.
`Max`: A VIRGIN sex-god. =P
[1351]: You sound a bit macho for my tastes, Adonis.
*** triskele has joined #thee_vortex
triskele: Good god.
`Max`: Hey, perfect timing once more, triskies.
[1351]: so get her drunk max. Ply her with alcohol and drugs. It's
an age-old formula.
`Max`: I was just trying to figure out why a girl would possibly
not want to throw herself at me. I'm a bit perplexed.
[1351]: I haven't seen Siv in ages
[1351]: Max, don't be so utterly ridiculous
`Max`: Erm... he's probably preoccupied with other things at the
moment.
`Max`: What? Just 'coz YOU don't understand the way I speaktype
doesn't mean I'm not a sexy sonofabitch.
[1351]: You may well be sexy (depending on the taste of the person
involved), but this doesn't mean that someone isn't going to be
apprehensive about sex for one reason or another.
[1351]: I assume from what you've said about her that she's nowhere
near being a virgin.
`Max`: I see.
[1351]: So that's one we can rule out at least.
`Max`: I'm TOO sexy. B)
[1351]: oh put you're damn shirt back on, Fairbrass
`Max`: I never wear a shirt.
`Max`: I'm too sexy for my shirt.
`Max`: But that's another cliche entirely.
`Max`: Anyway...
[1351]: that was the one the above pun was based on. Gotta love
Right Said Fred.
`Max`: She hasn't had sex in a very long time apparently. Said
something about it hurting. *shrug*
[1351]: In that case, show a bit of damn consideration you fucking
barbarian.
* `Max` grins.
`Max`: I'm the biggest bastard in the world for such a polite guy.
`Max`: Care to elaborate that point?
[1351]: Work up slowly. Fingers first, and so on. Use lubricant.
[1351]: There are a few things which can cause painful sex.
`Max`: During a single session, or over a period of time?
[1351]: over whatever period of time she's comfortable with
`Max`: Anyway, I'm not entirely certain that that's the point,
although I think considering it may give me a more hollistic view of
the picture. Perhaps it is no single factor alone.
`Max`: I gotcha.
[1351]: Some are minor medical issues which clear up on their own.
Stress is a much overlooked one (which is why you don't want to be
too pushy).
`Max`: Like I said before, I'll wait until she's ready. I don't
need sex to be happy.
[1351]: And finally, it could be a more serious or long term
medical issue.
[1351]: In which case, she ought to go to her gynacologist.
[1351]: If it's something simple (like thrush) creams and
antibiotics can blast that. If it's something more serious, she NEEDS
to know about it.
`Max`: I think you rather misinterpereted that, but I'll take what
you said into consideration.
[1351]: Look, if she finds sex painful, it probably isn't anything
serious, but it can be a symptom of something.
`Max`: I think I shall spend a month squatting in Isla Vista.
[1351]: But generally, you need to be considerate, have a bit of
patience, and try not to be an asshole.
`Max`: She was explaining that if a girl hasn't had sex in a while,
it can hurt.
`Max`: I don't see how more of not having sex solves that, but like
I said before, I'll wait 'til she's ready.
[1351]: It can. See comments about fingers and lube.
`Max`: Gotcha.
* `Max` marks down, "Try not to be an asshole."
`Max`: Thus has been the lesson of last night and this morning.
[1351]: But it sounds like it's possible stress could be something
of a problem too. So make it as calm an event as possible.
`Max`: Although I don't try -to- be an asshole ... it's just that I
do try to say what's on my mind the way I think of it which can come
out very assinine indeed, since others don't think anything near the
way that I do.
[1351]: oh, and she should do pelvic floor exercises
`Max`: Everyone should do pelvic floor exercises.
* `Max` has a funny story to tell along those lines, but will
refrain for the time being.
[1351]: Yah. That's just a general addendum to any conversation
about sex. But it can help with relaxing her muscles and making
everything more comfortable.
`Max`: Care to suggest any in particular?
[1351]: Max, we're all aware that when you come across as an
asshole it's only because you're a superior being who's intellect is
beyond ours... g:
[1351]: Yeah. Clench, relax, clench, relax. Repeat every time
you've nothing better to do.
`Max`: Just so long as we're clear on that. ;-P j/k
`Max`: What, with the pussy-muscles?
[1351]: oh, the the relax movement should involve outwards pressure
- they work both ways
[1351]: yep
`Max`: Nice.
[1351]: I understand that it's the same set of muscles that allow
men to move their cocks up and down, and the same sort of muscular
contractions.
`Max`: Yeah, but to my knowledge they only work in one direction.
[1351]: well, women are designed to give birth, so we get to be
able to push as well as pull
[1351]: give her some ping-pong balls and dildos to play with
[1351]: ("right slave, you are going to stand in the corner and
hold that vibrator in... if you drop it, you'll get 20 strokes with
the crop). evil grin:
`Max`: I wouldn't trust myself with that...
`Max`: Ooooh!
`Max`: Creativity!
`Max`: This opens new vistas....
`Max`: Nah
`Max`: I can't get into the whole S&M thing...
`Max`: I'm sick of destructive relationships for the time-being..
`Max`: Even on an agreed level.
[1351]: S&M isn't destructive if you're doing it properly
[1351]: it's the one of the closest and more innately trusting
experiences I've encountered (from both sides)
`Max`: I couldn't hurt her, though.
[1351]: actually, you could just go for bondage and such
[1351]: non-painful stuff
`Max`: I'd be like... "Okay, slave! You are going to stand in the
corner and hold that vibrator in... if you drop it, I'll ... erm...
put it back in."
[1351]: BDSM doesn't have to involve either pain or humiliation
`Max`: Interesting.
[1351]: it can just be about relinquishing power. Which is a
remarkable relief sometimes.
`Max`: I'll suggest it.
[1351]: I'd suggest starting off with a bit of light bondage. It's
fun, feels great, and very relaxing.
[1351]: You can incorporate stroking and things on the part of the
dom - pet your sub.
`Max`: I figure it'd make more sense to start with vanilla sex, but
hey... I've always known that it'd have to be something commpletely
bizarre for me. I can never do things normally. Always the exception.
[1351]: Light bdsm might be useful to you both if she's a bit tense
about having full sex.
[1351]: For a lot of people, it can release a lot of repressed
tension and shit.
`Max`: yeah, she's got repressed tension up the wazoo in all
aspects of her life
* [1351] got into light bd a good couple of years before she had sex
with a man for the first time.
`Max`: this theme crops up repeatedly and interests me
`Max`: when did you first have sex? and why?
`Max`: it seems that for women, it's a much more intimate act.
`Max`: i've been thinking about social pressures
`Max`: for guys, the pressure is to be a Stud and have as much sex
as fast as possible.
`Max`: but a woman like that would be called a Slut, and frowned
upon.
[1351]: for me, it was a fairly naturla thing. Interestingly, it
started with that sort of girls sleepover stereotype thing
`Max`: women aren't supposed to Fuck, but rather, they Make Love
* [1351] shrugs. I wouldn't know. I fuck.
`Max`: Yeah, well you're kewl like that.
`Max`: You're not Women. You're Kat.
[1351]: hah
[1351]: thanks... I think
`Max`: she also asks me if i'm comfortable on occasion
`Max`: i think it's just prior to her desire to jump my bones
`Max`: leads me to think that comfort may be a key factor involved
in sex in the minds of some women
[1351]: comfort is important with regards to sex for many people.
More emotional than physical, generally. Questions like that tend to
have two meanings at least.
`Max`: she says i'm the Light of her Life
`Max`: sounds like a bad song lyric, but noone's ever told me that
before
`Max`: two meanings? what do you suggest?
[1351]: cute. has she told you she loves you yet?
[1351]: two meanings as in referring to both physical and emotional
comfort
`Max`: i see
`Max`: you know i can't remember?
`Max`: but she hasn't said the ancient and archaic formula of the
three words "I" "LOVE" "YOU" yet.
`Max`: That I'd remember outright.
`Max`: Especially since I'm not sure I could repeat them in the
same manner honestly.
`Max`: I love her, of course.
`Max`: But saying that has another meaning entirely.
`Max`: I've never said that to anyone.
`Max`: And I'm not sure it quite applies to her.
[1351]: Yep. These days, it's a hell of a lot more significant than
"will you marry me".
[1351]: I refused to say it to anyone for years.
`Max`: Have you said it to Wulf, then? Yes, I'm an asshole, none
of my business. But I'm curious.
`Max`: And don't care enough to put it another way.
`Max`: I'm rather sick of dancing around subtleties, in any event.
`Max`: I tend to avoid that in recent years.
[1351]: Yes, I've said it to Wulf.
`Max`: More and more I find.
[1351]: I say it to Wulf just about every day, and regularly check
to make sure I'm still being sincere.
`Max`: That's kewl. Best of wishes to both of you. =)
[1351]: And no, I don't know what I'd do if I ever found myself not
be sincere.
[1351]: We have been together for about 6 years, Max.
`Max`: Understood.
`Max`: He must be something special, then.
[1351]: Yep, he is at that.
[1351]: He was the first person I ever said it to.
`Max`: Incredible.
`Max`: Romantic. =)
`Max`: I've never said it to anyone.
[1351]: very. We met in a very romantic way.
[1351]: It's not something to be said lightly.
`Max`: I honestly don't think that Lydia is yet important enough in
my life that I could say it to her like that.

triskele: 'I witnessed the 'terrorist' attack of 2001 and all I got
was this lousy tee-shirt'

[1351]: 'I was in the 'terrorist' attack of 2001 and all I got were
these lousy burn-scars'

* [1351] dances around the room sprinkling magick-pixie-laughter-
dust all over everyone.

triskele: He did it in flash. hurrah.
triskele: Check out his graphic arts.
[1351]: In other words, this is about to crash my system...

Mimir: Hey, you guys hear about the bombings?
[1351]: no, sorry... must have missed that.... what bombings?
ChORONZON: Bombings?
SilntBob: ....?
Mimir: s'what I thought ;)

[1351]: hello there nodges, and who the fuck are you?
nodges: you just asnwered your own question.

SilntBob: according to the bible arent the mongols supposed be the
ones to finally take down the united states?
[1351]: I don't think so.
SilntBob: hey there into this kamazazii stuff right?
[1351]: I don't think the bible mentioned the Mongols.
SilntBob: from that area
[1351]: And I think the Mongols where honestly more into horses and
swords and stuff.
SilntBob: r something
SilntBob: perhaps chinese i mean
SilntBob: a preacher told me this once
[1351]: I don't think the bible mentioned the US, either for that
matter.
SilntBob: lettle me know when i should start praying r something
[1351]: I think your preacher was, like so many Xtians, full of shit.
[1351]: the lands mentioned in the bible are strictly in the area
of the Fertile Crescent.
SilntBob: even in revelations?
SilntBob: im going straight to #bible with this one
SilntBob: if im still not banned that is
[1351]: Well, revelations theoretically spanned the whole world,
but in all honesty, it does NOT mention the US, or china.
[1351]: I can go look it up if you're really curious. I have a
bible I stole somewhere around here.
SilntBob: naw
* SilntBob was banned from #bible
[1351]: aww
[1351]: what did you say to the creatures?
SilntBob: for saying pulls out his big Fat Dick and fucks the
shit out of everything in the room, then he slits "themoms" throat
and fucks that too, -watches as cum drools down her neck mixed
with blood and laughs. then forces the rest of the ladies to suck his
penis till they drop, then rapes the bloody shit out of the
room. end.
SilntBob: themom was a op
[1351]: ah

teckyong: I am thinking
* ult is thinkin too
* `Max` feels left out. ;-P

teckyong: so what's the next thing on our agenda for the day?
`Max`: Eliminating dutch elm disease and/or harmful memes.
teckyong: good
teckyong: while we are at it, please continue surfing for por...I
mean continue checking our emails
`Max`: right
`Max`: which will take a little time
* teckyong checks his emails eagerly
`Max`: because i ... like to check my emails using only my left hand
teckyong: yeah....me too

teckyong: Max is my lesbian lover

teckyong: there's nothing I love more than french kissing a British
man

teckyong: is that true? have I been a partner to your twisted
schemes??
[1351]: yep

teckyong: male ones....?
teckyong: are they gay?
[1351]: (teckyong lives in hope)

`Max`: i will punish evil with my righteous tampons of salty justice

`Max`: and so thee vortex is safe once more thanks to...
`Max`: USED TAMPON MAN!

* eleventh tries to figure out what kind of stuff to sigilize on her
reflective plastic emergency blanket...
`Max`: bountiful kill?
eleventh: no...
Dakarriel: "HELP!"?
`Max`: if it's a plastic emergency blanket, you'll probably need food
eleventh: nah....
Dakarriel: "This doubles as a funeral shroud" ?
`Max`: swift death, without much pain?
eleventh: I don't plan on it being used for an emergency blanket. I
plan on it being used as something to do sigil artwork on.
`Max`: ohhhh

Dakarriel: oh, and I found something odd about my auric makeup now.
Aparrantly, If I put my chakras in the places they're supposed to be
in, I'm weaker than when I have em all floating in my solar plexus,
orbiting around my solar plexus 'energy storage' chakra, or hara
Dakarriel: I was having trouble doing magick recently, until I
figured that out, and everything's peachy-keen again.

eleventh: I found the coolest stuff recently. It's called
"Ecoflame", and it's an ethanol gel. It's great for blue flaming
magick circles.

cidal: how are you getting there?
`Max`: same way i get anywhere -- Blind Luck

* Zos444 is having difficulty penetrating the thick layers of cheeze
surrounding "Night Magick"

* [1351] contemplates compiling goodies for an FTP archive. Bit of a
daunting task, mind.

* Aleister shoots squinky up with ketamine, strips him naked,
blindfolds him and ties him upside down to a roller coaster

`Max`: recently i was thinking...
`Max`: cats spend 2/3 of their life sleeping
`Max`: ...so maybe for a cat, the dream world is real, and this is
the sleep?

`Max`: i love cats
cidal: their brainwave patterns match those of a human on lsd
`Max`: for real?
`Max`: wow
cidal: yep!
Sq: thats pretty screwed up
cidal: i think it scool

Aleister: i once went to an ike and tina turner concert. before i
went in, i ate a handful of dexadrine spansules.
Xaronzon: how'd it go?
Aleister: my father was mad because i was the only one dancing. and
he and i were the only white people in the audience.
Xaronzon: good gig?
Aleister: he was fearful that i was being conspicuous.
Aleister: yea, great concert.

Xaronzon: Top things you wish you could say at work: "I have plenty
of talent and vision. I just
Xaronzon: : : don't give a f*ck.

Aleister: the man who found the flight recorder for flight 93 is
named crowley
* Aleister laughs insanely
Squinky: ok, thats it. this is officially "dodgy"

* Squinky sighs and resigns himself to being "crap"
Squinky: yes thats right people, im having my own personal angst-hour
Squinky: which im entitled to, since i dont normally (other than
the past week or so)
Squinky: and if anyone argues with this logic, i'll rip their arms
off and beat them to death with said arms
* Squinky frowns
Squinky: this doesnt mean you have to stop talking

[1351]: what're you feeling angsty about Squink?
Squinky: ok right, well you know how i got really shit marks on my
a levels, and couldn't get into a decent uni, so now im stuck here
for the next year with no ambitions or ideas about what i want out of
life?
Squinky: well, apparently, that job at eurogamer i applied for, has
had applicants with 6 a levels that went to imperial college.
Squinky: so i've resigned myself to working at burger king and
generally giving up in life.
[1351]: Look, if you've got strong examples of your work, that's
more relevant than qualifications in many cases.
Mycel: I'd have to agree. Real world experience is usually more
important the marks on a piece of paper.
Squinky: im sure anyone that went to imperial and got 6 a levels
are bound to be both more experienced and have a better portfolio
Squinky: think about it.
Mycel: Unless the reason they got 6 a levels was because they spent
their entire time doing school work.
[1351]: So work on making your portfolio better. Just because you
aren't studying anything at the moment doesn't mean you can't train
yourself in new skills.
[1351]: Even if it doesn't do you any good for this job, it'll
stand you in good stead in the future.
* [1351] has managed to get some great jobs on the strength of
nothing but a quick letter and samples of work.
Mycel: I personally think I've learnt more on my own than I've been
taught in school. At the least, I've learned more important things
on my own.
* [1351] nods.
Squinky: i have very little real world experience though.
Squinky: hell, i'll send you my cv if you want.
Mycel: Do you have a lot of real world experience with computers?
[1351]: hell, I've got Choronzon on my CV. stuff you do for
yourself counts
Squinky: i have very little
[1351]: I thought you'd been online since 1991 or so? that counts
for something in and of itself
[1351]: "10 years of experience with internet technologies"
Squinky: i thought my cv seemed quite good as far as that kinda
stuff goes :/
Squinky: still
Squinky: the education bit is a huge letdown
Mycel: If you get an interview, you could claim your low marks were
from playing computer games?
Squinky: heh
[1351]: skills and education aren't the same thing. most HR people
will be aware of that
Squinky: nice plan, i'll try it
Squinky: still, it strikes me that they will be looking for someone
"professional"
Squinky: which, i'm not. i've worked at several supermarkets (and
hated every minute of it), and a pub.
[1351]: so make yourself out to be professional
[1351]: hell, my CV contains some choice truth-stretching
Squinky: i tried!
Squinky: mine doesnt :/
* [1351] drags up her short-form CV to look for any gems
[1351]: ah, that one doesn't have any real whoppers. But I do make
overmuch of my experiences with web administration

[1351]: but look, even unimpressive shit can sound better than it is
[1351]: here's an excerpt from my short form computer skills CV
[1351]: All major operating systems, including MS-DOS, Windows 3.x,
Windows 9x & ME, Windows 2000, Windows NT, Linux, and Mac OS
[1351]: Web design related skills include HTML raw coding in
addition to familiarity with major WYSIWYG packages (including
Dreamweaver & MS FrontPage), applet coding in Java & Javascript, CGI
scripting in Perl, experience administrating a Linux webserver.
[1351]: Graphics & DTP software experience includes Adobe
Photoshop, Adobe Illustrator, Jasc Paint Shop Pro, Serif DrawPlus,
Serif PagePlus, Corel Draw, Freehand, Quark Xpress.
[1351]: Familiar with common applications including spreadsheets
(Lotus, MS Excel), database software (Access, DBase), and word
processors (Word, WordPerfect).

Sq: i'll be the first guy on the block with a server in his arm
connected to wireless lan..

Sq: heh, now thta i think about it, much of my magickal work is
based around a dos/*nix styled command prompt in my head i call
"ShellServ" (shell servitor/s)

[1351]: c'mon little girl... lick me... you know you want to... I'm
hallucinogenic...

Zos444: bring me the head of my toy poodle on the hand of a greek
cypriot

* [1351] isn't sure she can remember what the outside of her flat
looks like...

Aleister: yea, i need to figure out some way to eat and compute
from a sensory deprivation tank

`Max`: Every cell in your body is presently being parasitized by a
plastid.
`Max`: And there's nothing you can do about it.
`Max`: You will be dependant on the plastids. Incapable of
surviving without them.
`Max`: And when one of them dies, a piece of you dies.
`Max`: =)

Infamus: I came here today because I thought this is the only place
where I can outline my theory that "THEY" wanted to free Yog Sothoth,
who is said to dwell within the penatgon, without being taken serious
Infamus: but then I realized that he was banished by a bunch of
hippies in the 60s qwho chanted OUT DEMON OUT DEMON for a couple of
days before they got maced
[1351]: damn... does this mean my official Foul Worshipper of the
Great Old Ones card isn't going to be any use now?
Infamus: wait... you are in the senate??

[1351]: Anna Riva's books are quite an interesting example of
practical christian magick.
`Max`: anna riva?
[1351]: An author - writes small books about a variety of subjects,
including hoodoo and christian magic.

`Max`: *** Now talking in #illuminati
`Max`: Maximilln: 'sup Max
`Max`: * Maximilln whaps `Max`
`Max`: Maximilln: speak up.
`Max`: `Max`: heya
`Max`: Maximilln: hey
`Max`: Maximilln: what're you doin' here.
`Max`: `Max`: oh
`Max`: `Max`: you know
`Max`: `Max`: flogging the 23rd degree maypole beneath a sky of
CADUX
`Max`: Maximilln: no... i don't know.
`Max`: Maximilln: Hmmmm... flogging sounds painful
`Max`: `Max`: sometimes
`Max`: `Max`: sometimes it brings pleasure
`Max`: Maximilln: I'm not all that interested in it.
`Max`: Maximilln: You're fucked up.
`Max`: `Max`: i know
`Max`: Maximilln: where are you from?
`Max`: `Max`: my mother, i'm told
`Max`: Maximilln: are you feeling vague tonight?
`Max`: `Max`: sometimes
`Max`: Maximilln: how about now?
`Max`: `Max`: maybe. i'm not really thinking about it.
`Max`: Maximilln: what are you thinking about?
`Max`: * Maximilln is thinking about beer, smoke, and music.
`Max`: `Max`: i'm thinking about women, smoke, and music. and
magick.
`Max`: `Max`: mostly magick.
`Max`: `Max`: that's my hobby.
`Max`: `Max`: and reading.
`Max`: `Max`: reading is nice.
`Max`: `Max`: i think i shall go read.
`Max`: Maximilln: magick? card playing's okay, but I see it the
same way I see the cell phone next to a computer.
`Max`: Maximilln: reading's good... I've read so much already...
`Max`: `Max`: heh.
`Max`: `Max`: who said anything about cards?
Sehkenra: LOL
Sehkenra: And what's with the cell phone / computer line?
* Sehkenra is confused
`Max`: not sure
`Max`: Maximilln: right... real magick? bring it on. :)
`Max`: `Max`: no thanks.
`Max`: Maximilln: then what in god's name are you talking about?
`Max`: `Max`: but i'm interested to know why there are so many
people in here generally not talking
`Max`: `Max`: i like the organizational structure, however
`Max`: Maximilln: 'cuz we're all somewhere else usually.
`Max`: Maximilln: you've changed the subject
`Max`: `Max`: i do that a lot
`Max`: `Max`: i don't tend to take things seriously enough to stay
interested in them for long ;-)
`Max`: `Max`: erm...
`Max`: Maximilln: right
`Max`: `Max`: what the hell do cell phones and computers have to
do with card games, by chance?
`Max`: Maximilln: card games are to rpgs like cell phones are to
computers.
Sehkenra: Ahhh, I see.
Sehkenra: Bad analogy
`Max`: `Max`: how old are you?
`Max`: Maximilln: 26
* Sehkenra quit playing CCG's years ago, but he loves his RPG's

teckyong: I am the seeker of serenity! The protector of virginity!
The warrior of love! The enforcer of Kat's drug business! The one!
The only! Teckyong!!!

[1351]: Exerpt from the Dark-Black-Magick list description: Many
Black Magical lists have Taboo's with regards to the frontier of the
basal qualities of human psyche. The true exploration of evil is
suppressed. On this list the flood gates of the flame will be let open.

Aleister: apparently one of the taboos they did away with was
english grammar.

teckyong: I am also the Master of my enormous manhood!
[1351]: you have a BDSM relationship with your own penis?
Aleister: you're asian. it's highly unlikely that you have an
enormous manhood.
teckyong: I do! My 'manhood' is 4.5 inches when hard! ha! how's
that Mr American dick?
znRelay1: Psylt@znet: Mine's bigger, you poor asian fuck.
zaldia: asians are fatter
zaldia: lol
zaldia: tis true
[1351]: they're going to try to have a pissing contest soon
[1351]: and then someone's keyboard's going to get ruined.

teckyong: YEAH! I RULE YOUR MAMAAS!!!

zaldia: i suk fat tek cock

zaldia: no one likes me
zaldia: i'm to evil
zaldia: smell to bad
znRelay1: Psylt@znet: "I wonder if other dogs think poodles are
members of a weird religious cult."
znRelay1: Psylt@znet: -- Rita Rudner

znRelay1: Psylt@znet: "I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly
vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically
dogs think humans are nuts."
znRelay1: Psylt@znet: -- John Steinbeck

teckyong: is it cute? is it sexy? is it popular? what is it? it is
teckyong!
znRelay1: DrKabal@znet: does satan do his own nails?

znRelay1: Psylt@znet: Is it my cock?

eleventh: long and hard!

znRelay1: Psylt@znet: Is it a sloppily mentruating nun?

znRelay1: DrKabal@znet: 50 pounds weighs about $120.00

[1351]: " This list is for all spells. Pagon, wiccian, non-
denominational, black, or white. The more you send to the list, the
larger it will grow. You can send spells, hexes, rituals,
envocations, thoughts, or even BOS's.. it's all up to you! Just
send e-mails to spell@onelist.com Key words: wiccian, pagon,
spells, hexes, envocations, rituals, gods, practitoner, candle,
magick, magic."

`Max`: can you say "The Craft" ? =P

`Max`: i'm going to the pagon pride festivel tomorow. i think that
there will be lots and lots of wiccians there. i hop one will share
with me there secret BOS1!

*** Topic is '"Hello? Customer support? I'd like to kill someone
please...."'
*** Set by [1351] on Sat Sep 15 12:12:16

[1351]: everything fun makes you throw up sooner or later

[1351]: it's one of those universal laws

Najalaise: on the other hand, quite a few not-fun-at-all things
will also make you throw up, so you might as well have fun

eleventh: Left-hand baby. The only way to go.
FraDotCom: I take it you're not talking about your masturbation
technics
eleventh: Not *just* my masturbation techniques.

eleventh: I have a problem with all evocations. I've tried any
number of entities with pretty much no success.
eleventh: But who is this Baal character?
FraDotCom: it's on my homepage
eleventh: I don't know where your home page is
FraDotCom: www.geocities.com/conthanatos/
FraDotCom: www.geocities.com/conthanatos/steingod.html
#### Editor's note: http://www.aepalizage.com/ is Arawyn's latest site
#### as of the time of this writing
eleventh: so who is Baal?
FraDotCom: the Lord of Excess
eleventh: Ack! I have been sat upon by an immovable cat!
FraDotCom: You know, you can get easily rid of that thing with a
lighter
eleventh: eek! no!
FraDotCom: Or let a dog play with it
eleventh: we have a dog
FraDotCom: ah, good. Then let it play with the cat
eleventh: The cat is almost as big as him :P
FraDotCom: Hmm
FraDotCom: get a bigger one.
FraDotCom: Chaos mages are supposed to have a doberman at that.
FraDotCom: Or a bulldog
FraDotCom: boxer
FraDotCom: something like that
FraDotCom: but most certainly not a chihuahua
eleventh: We have an australian shepherd/lab/border collie. He's
not small.
FraDotCom: how big is that cat then?
eleventh: large :P
eleventh: about the size of a small scottish terrier
eleventh: interestingly enough, on the black/white discussion, it's
an all-white, super affectionate cat
FraDotCom: Like you?
eleventh: I'm black and antisocial
eleventh: I don't like the latter bit, but I'm working on it.
FraDotCom: with glamours?
eleventh: no. Mostly with trying to act social
eleventh: Counter-intuitive though it is....
`Max`: lamer

-: *squink* DEAR SQUINKY: PROCEED AS PLANNED STOP SEND ME AN EMAIL
WHEN EVERYTHING IS IN ORDER STOP I AM PROCEEDING TO INDOCTRINATE THE
CANDIDATES ALREADY END

eleventh: how so?
FraDotCom: Nevermind him, that's just a usual remark g:
eleventh: FraDotCom: occasionally he has a reason for saying stuff
like that. I'm guessing this isn't one of them though.

blue`lady: fuck trying. I don't act social unless I wanna. And
when I wanna, I pull it off much more than when I fake it.

`Max`: you completely failed to appreciate the irony in the
statement "I'm not refuting anything!!!!!"

`Max`: oh yeah, like THAT solves your problem
`Max`: keep running away
`Max`: keep failing to actually GO OUT AND FACE IT
`Max`: and when you fail once, give up
`Max`: don't try again
`Max`: don't get back on the horse and persevere
`Max`: be the same damn stagnant pile of shit you were two years ago
`Max`: "Fear is the mind-killer."
`Max`: Asshole.
`Max`: You deserve exactly what you are.

shimmy1o1: trying to find name of this author grrr
shimmy1o1: net isuselsess sometimes
FraDotCom: what author?
shimmy1o1: some dude wrote three books on the Agora Tantra, and the
psycho things the yogis used to do, more of a subjective narative
than a good research but interesting nonetheless

* [1351] drops in for a second
[1351]: wibble
* [1351] drops out again

SilntZos: ....

`Max`: i wonder if wonderbra has a customer support department?
*snicker*

Sq: i have a massive fucking bruise on my cheek.
`Max`: from what?
Sq: earlier i attached a wine vacuum pump (the type to seal wine
once you've opened it) to the side of my faced and er.. created a
vacuum. like a hicky, only perfectly round and silly.
Sq: its not a good thing.

*** triskele has joined #thee_vortex
triskele: I managed to COOK today!
eleventh@znet: HOLY HELL!
triskele: in the process, I broke fine china, ruined a brand new wok
eleventh@znet: Like, with heat and everything?
triskele: almost caused the fire alarm to go off, and scalded my
togue.
triskele: Yes, with heat!
triskele: Curt helped!
eleventh@znet: Wow!
* triskele bows.
triskele: I fucked up our kitchen and made such a mess
triskele: BUT THAT WAS THE BEST FUCKING STIR FRY IN THE KNOWN
UNIVERSE.

*** `Max` sets mode: +ooo Shaedy triskele Zos444
triskele: heh.
* triskele tackles Max.
triskele: Max: aren't you glad you're not in the military at a time
like this?
Shaedy: how serious would this have to get before they start
drafting ppl?
AlephNull@znet: My dad asked me today if I was feeling
patriotic :P
`Max`: they've instituted a bill to begin a draft in November
Shaedy: what!?
AlephNull@znet: Hey, I'll be closer to Canada in
November....
`Max`: i just wanted to see how much you guys would piss yourselves
`Max`: you've both done nicely. ;-P
Shaedy: ......
* Shaedy smites max

`Max`: actually, virginity kinda rocks
`Max`: people look at me and say... "you've never had sex and
you're how old?!" =P
Shaedy: why does that rock
`Max`: because i'm a sexy motherfucker
Shaedy: i c
Shaedy: lol
triskele: someeeebody has an ego :P
`Max`: nuh-uh! I'm a -MILLION- times more modest than you! ;-)

`Max`: i wonder why it's so hard to grasp?
Aleister: because you have leftover lubricant on your hands?

Zos444: Here's a poem from "The Gull's Beak" by Kenneth Grant
Zos444: :
Zos444: Words of Power
Zos444: :
Zos444: Words that are charged with incredible power
Zos444: sometimes pour from a dream
Zos444: as limpid globes of water
Zos444: gleam in the fiery evening sunshine
Zos444: when fragile flowers unfurl and drink
Zos444: dark exhalations of a drowsy stream.
Zos444: :
Zos444: I tell you, whispered secrets
Zos444: worth eternity
Zos444: tangle greenly with a languid sleep
Zos444: a heaviness which mind exudes
Zos444: when drooping hours distil
Zos444: deep talismans of balm.
Zos444: :
Zos444: A severed head, effigy
Zos444: of dead remembrance
Zos444: bled in calm white dying of the days
Zos444: before the black aeonic gulfs
Zos444: closed over it, survives and brays
Zos444: words charged with irresistable significance.
Zos444: :
Zos444: This monolithic head is found
Zos444: by straying minds,
Zos444: its shadow like a Dali pylon
Zos444: cyphering round mysterious void
Zos444: encircled by a dropped moon ray
Zos444: which
Zos444: curving on itself
Zos444: consumes another day.
Zos444: -------
Zos444: finis.

Session Start: Sun Sep 16 15:24:00 2001
*** Now talking in #thee_vortex
*** Topic is 'You will find that the state is the kind of
organization which, though it does big things badly, does small
things badly too.'
*** Set by eleventh on Sun Sep 16 13:29:50

drbardo: on any scale it rates higher than LSD, Psilocybin,
Mescalin, Peyote, or any other substance...
`Max`: whassat?
Riordan: higher than DMT?
drbardo: yes
drbardo: much higher than DMT
drbardo: DOM, 2,5-Dimethoxy-4-Methylamphetamine
drbardo: DOSAGE: 3 - 10 mg.
drbardo: DURATION: 14 - 20 h.
drbardo: Qualitative Comments:
drbardo: (with 3 mg) "In the middle of the experience I found that
I was able to separate components of complex things so as to evaluate
them separately. There is no need to respect their normal purpose.
The sharpness of observation is enhanced, but one can focus at every
different depth of a thing or concept. Colors are not just brighter;
there are more of them. There is a profoundness of meaning inherent
in anything that moves. A line of thought or a bit of
drbardo: personal history ties the thinker to the objects that had
been thought of, or once experienced. It is this relationship that
will prove productive. Not like in a movie which is circular in its
totalness, but as in true life where the future is the result of your
own involvement with everything about you."
Riordan: Fascinating..
drbardo: (with 4 mg) "The first four hours were largely directed to
the body. There was a shuddering and a tight jaw, and I am not
particularly motivated to talk to anyone. It is more arousing (like
amphetamine) than depressing (like phenobarb). I am feeling just a
little sick at the three hour point, but a bit of regurgitation
clears this up. Then at the fourth hour, it went totally outside of
me. I saw the clouds towards the west. THE CLOUDS!!!
drbardo: No visual experience has ever been like this. The meaning
of color has just changed completely, there are pulsations, and
pastels, are extremely pastel. And now the oranges are coming into
play. It is a beautiful experience. Of all past joys, LSD, mescaline,
cannabis, peyote, this ranks number one. Normally I have no color
effects with mescaline. A dynamic experience. Feels good, too."
drbardo: that is out of PIHKAL, by Dr. Alexander Shulgin...
[1351]: sounds lovely
drbardo: though 5-MeO-DMT still reigns supreme in the more OOB-
like experience...

`Max`: Beagles like strawberries.
`Max`: What do you know today that you didn't know yesterday?
* eleventh ponders
triskele: that I could make good stir fry despite the fire alaram
problems..
eleventh: That it's easier to write on percoset than I would have
guessed.
Najalaise: that... hmm... my friend mared's bf likes moonstones
[1351]: hmmm... I've only been up a handful of hours; that there
are a load of really shitty new pagan search engines around; that
lambert and butler cigs give me a sore throat quite rapidly when I
use them to roll joints with

eleventh: I need to contact my HGA. And issue a formal complaint.

* [1351] has a load of book covers too... Marijuana Girl and such
[1351]: the cover blurb reads "She traded her body for drugs - and
kicks!"

drbardo: [1351] you should see the Bayer ad for both Aspirin and
Heroine Hydrochloride
[1351]: do you have copies?
drbardo: they found out around 1876 that Morphine was BAD so they
began using Heroine instead... haha
[1351]: I know. Gotta love that. ;)
[1351]: heroin was actually touted as a cure for morphine addiction
at one point

[1351]: okay, who're these wierdos doing web searches for
artificial semen?

blue`lady: i personally try not to give pics out too much... this
channel is an exceptionj, but nobody really knows about my webpage
other than this chan and my fiancee. it's kind of a private
perversion project.
[1351]: heh
blue`lady: but my main thing is, i prefer NOT to get pictures of
people. I make pictures up in my head... they're swirls of words and
ideas, and i like it that way.
[1351]: I can relate to that.
blue`lady: i think of them as a personality, not a chick with blue
eyes and black hair.
[1351]: aye
blue`lady: like.. when you've been friends with someone so long,
you don't think about how they look when you recall something they
said.
blue`lady: adds to familiarity i think,.
blue`lady: i hate people that insist that i must be ugly if I don't
send them pictures.
* [1351] nods
[1351]: In my case, I genuinely don't have any. g: I really ought
to do some when I'm in vanity mode, but it's so much more fun TAKING
them.
* [1351] grins. I think I've scared Al off. g:
blue`lady: get a picture of an object or something that exeplifies
you.
[1351]: That's a possiblity. I'd be unsure what to pick though. It
would depend what persona is currently in operation. What I would
like to do is a sort of visual alphabet of desire/personality -
little cards with images relating to each of my personas. But, I'm
stick at drawing, so... g:
blue`lady: !
[1351]: I'm stick at drawing... oh dear. I suck at.
* [1351] must have completely lost the plot while typing that.
blue`lady: so just pull up Paint and do a scribble and damn it all.
Say it's a manifestation of your inner soul. Nobody will argue. :)
[1351]: LOL
* [1351] could always portray her inner soul as a little black patch
of fog with big cute eyes.
blue`lady: yeah!
[1351]: or send pictures of my favourite ice lollies...
[1351]: (you know, this idea is starting to grow on me)
blue`lady: ice lollies?
[1351]: what? aren't I allowed to like ice lollies?
blue`lady: what are they, O british person?
[1351]: ah. right. they come on a stick
blue`lady: popsicles?
[1351]: and they're either ice cream, or a solid sorbet type thing,
or a combination of the two
[1351]: possibly
blue`lady: yep
[1351]: anyway, look, we're thinking about objects in the general
line of frozen-fruit-water-onna-stick
blue`lady: sure, send out pictures of that... hint to people that
it's symbolic.. they'll be too busy figuring out the inner meaning to
wonder what you look like
blue`lady: ("she likes being on sticks? what?")
[1351]: LOL
[1351]: Or, I could get some photos of my lovely self taken, and
send 'em out. But then they'd probably suffer the fate of Trisk's
photos and become the object of frenzied wanking by oversexed
#thee_vortex denizens...
blue`lady: don't be naked in em!
blue`lady: :o)
[1351]: this fails to surprise me
blue`lady: oversexed? undersexed more like
[1351]: oversexed in that they've got an od of sexual want...
blue`lady: hmmmmm.... more than the average person? well, that's up
for debate.. either other people don't like / want sex or just don't
talk about it
[1351]: who can know...
blue`lady: ...obviously SoMEBODY likes sex... look at the world
population :)

teckyong: my my
teckyong: it is a full house
teckyong: hey guys!!!
teckyong: and KAT!!!
Xaronzon: yeah, but we're all dead
teckyong: why are u dead? why huh? why?
Xaronzon: lack of interest?
teckyong: oh btw, did u guys know the IOT in Singapore was
disbanded by the police?
Xaronzon: no, I hadn't heard that
Xaronzon: details?
teckyong: well it happened a long long time ago. I just happen to
recall it now.
teckyong: u remember that Leon dude? the one who slandered me? well
he told me that when we first met.
Xaronzon: oh, right
Xaronzon: I never heard this
Xaronzon: was it an official IOT temple?
teckyong: maybe it was. because Leon told me they had gatherings
and stuff.
teckyong: and they had degrees and ranking system
teckyong: plus they used to gather at some mysterious hideout
Xaronzon: wierd. I've never heard any mention of this, on the web
or in any issues of Chaos International and such
teckyong: well. that's what Leon told me.
* Xaronzon shrugs
teckyong: I am not vouching for him though...
teckyong: what's the shrug for?
teckyong: is it like a 'whatever' shrug?
Xaronzon: it's just something to fill in a gap in the conversation,
really

Aleister: i did a search for hello kitty vampires, found none. but,
there was a comic book of hello kitty goth.

eleventh: hey, if you announce your place open to gods and shite,
think they'll show up?
Xaronzon: worked for me
eleventh: Okay, done. No sign of anyone yet.
* Xaronzon shrugs

Xaronzon: oh, here's one from my personal "eww" vault...

ult: I feel fuzzy

*** Dakarriel has joined #thee_vortex
Dakarriel: hi everyone!
Dakarriel: how is everyone?
Dakarriel: I'm in reasonably good spirits.
Dakarriel: I still have no social life, but I had a good dinner,
and I actually found what i was searching for online!
Dakarriel: it aint often when that happens.
Dakarriel: though, I was looking for it for several hours, and was
getting pissed off near the end. I swear, search engines are not
very helpful.
Dakarriel: oh, and the weather was stormy today. I liked that a lot.
Dakarriel: I'm currently in a low energy state now, though. I sent
a healing-oriented servator over to NYC a few days ago, and noticed a
dramatic drop in my magick prowess. I believe this is linked,
because the servator has access to my energies as a sort of battery.
Dakarriel: and, now, I'm talking to myself.

eleventh: I'll give $5 to whoever can say something that makes me
feel less frustrated.
Xaronzon: no shit?
eleventh: no shit.
Xaronzon: damn. I wish I hadn't just invested all of my (quite
inconsiderable) sense of humour in writing this web page.
eleventh: Just as well. $5 isnt that much.

eleventh: Out of curiosity, what effect is marijuana supposed to
have on you? I just realized I have no idea.
drbardo: please hold
drbardo: computing
drbardo: eleventh let me provide you with a link to some rather
difinitive information...
ult: its s'posed to make you happy
drbardo: though I can tell you off the bat that its effects are
nowhere near those of any decent hallucinogenic, and or heavy
psychadelic
drbardo: http://www.erowid.org/plants/cannabis/cannabis_effects.shtml
eleventh: All I'm looking for is a subjective description of the
experience
drbardo: http://www.erowid.org/plants/cannabis/
drbardo: has a lot of stuff on it
[1351]: it makes you happy, it makes you not worry about things, it
relieves stress
drbardo: including quite a few user's experiences and many other
resources
[1351]: produces a state of contentment and a general openess
towards and enthusiasm for various pleasurable activities
[1351]: I also find it aids in the creative process, but not
everyone gets that one.
drbardo: I find it that i only experience the increased
appreciation for music
drbardo: otherwise my thoughts become jumbled
drbardo: I become aware of my body, and oh what a terrible pain it
is to be so overly aware of this wretched sack of flesh, this shell,
this bodily prison... AGHH!
drbardo: I hate the increased physiological awareness that pot
provides me
drbardo: I can feel every cell in my body, and I can feel the
weight of it all, I can feel my teeth, my eyes, my nose, my lungs,
and all other organs, and I feel myself at last for the slimy,
s